Oh she most definitely has other things on that receipt. The smart thing to do would've been buy a bunch of school supplies worth $90, take a picture of the receipt, than take back half the items and get whatever else she wanted that wasn't school supply related. BMs don't think through their shenanigans though lol

I wouldn't pay it until I get a full receipt either. I also think $90 is a lot if we're talking JUST school supplies and not clothes/shoes. We spent quite a bit on clothes/shoes but actual supplies ie backpack, lunch box, pencil case, paper, pens, etc. was about $50 total. Mostly because I wanted to get her a super cute backpack/lunchbox that costed about $35 total.

I would ignore unless she gives you the whole, itemized receipt. There's a reason she's not showing the whole receipt. She must think you guys are pretty dumb!

I agree you won't know unless she shows you the whole receipt, although $90 does sound high, if she had to purchase say a $60 calculator that can drive the cost of supplies up pretty quickly.

Either way only showing you a grand total and not giving you the break down of what was purchased should automatically throw shade on this whole purchase.

I'm confused, wouldn't you split this cost 50/50? (And no, she needs to provide a receipt OR send a list of each item with the cost). Maybe there's a big ticket item like a protector kit?

Maybe she bought condoms or Summer's Eve or something she doesn't want you to see?

I agree with the rest, don't pay a cent until you see an ITEMIZED list.

If the deal this year was BM takes SD and Dad takes SS, why did BM buy for SS and then send a receipt ? If I go to Walmart and shoot you the bottom of my receipt, will your DH reimburse me too , LOL. There are a couple newly released or to be released movies coming out that I want to pick up and I'm sure I could bring myself to toss in the cart a bit of this and that of things I don't purchased at Walmart, since your Dh is paying

Nope. No proper itemed receipt, no repay. The other thing you could do is look up SS's online school supply list the school wants for his class/teachers and do a price check. Once you have a ball park figure you'll know if BM is full of it or not. Then you can tell her 'sure, sending the $90 just as soon as you get that receipt so I can put the receipt in my file'.

I can easily see MS taking $90 for everything the multiple teachers wants. The trip my have also included cheap PE shoes and a bag of socks and/underwear. No biggie. But if she wants reimbursed all she has to do is cough over the whole receipt. The sooner she cooperates the sooner she gets her cash...or next time she'll do as agreed and let Dad just take SS for items himself.

That's what I pay for one child and it wasn't enough. I have had to buy more half way through the year.

First I wouldn’t do anything that’s not in the custody order unless it is clearly agreed on beforehand. It doesn’t seem like this was the case. It seems like BM went against what DH wanted to do. At that point in our home my SO’s response would be “tough sh*t”. She decided to go spend this money on her own that was her choice and your DH is not legally required to do anything to pay her back.

Now if your DH wants to pay her back that’s a different story and again since there isn’t anything in the CO he can by himself decide what he wants to give her. If he isn’t happy paying that much then he simply gives her what he wants to. “Sorry (not sorry) you did this without my approval and I do not agree on paying you back X amount. This is what I feel is appropriate. (Don’t do it next time).” BMs learn real quickly to pull in on the behavior when it comes back to bite them so hard. IF she did go overboard then maybe she’ll learn next time to stay within her means and realize that her ex isn’t going to subsidize her spending spree.

Even if there was a CO that stated DH is responsible for part of school supplies it would require she send a COMPLETE receipt (normally through certified mail). She refuses to give you that then nope she doesn’t get anything because like you said, there’s no telling what she else she threw in the basket.

As for the total amount. Your post is unclear. You say she wants you to pay $90 to cover half of just stepson’s supplies? Or is that for both kids? Was that the full total because half of 90 should be 45? 90 for one kid isn’t unheard of. Last year I decided to help out SO by getting part of the school supplies his daughter needed. I didn’t go crazy and bought about half of the list. I spent 50 and that was ignoring some of the biggest cost. Schools these days are so poorly funded that the supply list is insane. Even a middle schooler could be required to have a binder which if you want one to last could be upwards of $10 depending on location. And that gets multiplied if they need one for each class. They also request sanitation wipes at $10 a bundle. Kleenex is about $7 for a pack of 4. Copy paper, head phones, calculators. That’s all big stuff that we forget about. Sure pencils, pens, paper, crayons seem cheap and most times are but it’s all those other things.

Finally remember that when it comes to his kids your DH may feel differently on this stuff. You say WE aren’t paying till this and this happens. Well DH may not see it the same way so be prepared.

According to our lawyer school supplies is covered under the CS amount and we do not have to contribute to anything unless we want too. This includes school cloths/footwear. These expenses are considered an ordinary part of raising a child and CS is supposed to cover this.

We do have to contribute to extra-curricular activities and school trips at a income proportional rate as these are considered extra-ordinary.

If you are going to pay half, definitely do not pay a cent until the whole receipt is provided. Cross check the items from the school supply list and go from there. Also take into consideration the backpack you already have purchased as BM should be responsible for half of that. It works both ways.

I don't think $90 is a lot, no.

I buy paper, pens, binders, folders, and duct tape (for covering books), and that runs me about $70 as I buy decent binders.

I will also have to buy more pens and pencils throughout the year, pay for school fees, wrestling shoes, football cleats, and art supplies.

Kids cost a lot of money.

It doesn't seem crazy to me, but I thought cs covers that. I shelled out a couple hundred for shoes, pants and school supplies, probably more than what my cs is but I would never ask the Loon for money towards it.

To me this falls under I chose to have a child and this is part of being a parent.

You're probably also paying for her tampons, oh well. I'd pay the extortion money and be done with it. A few extra bucks will be worth you and DH's sanity rather than going back and forth fighting over a receipt. Just be sure to keep a copy of what you paid for and file it away.

The CP is responsible for paying for all kid related costs from her income and from the CS that your SO pays unless otherwise stipulated in the CO. In our CO the only thing not completely covered by my the SpermClan's pittance of CS was any medical costs not covered by insurance. They owed for half of that.

Unless your SO's CO says he pays for school supplies separately then he has already paid with his CS payments... my assumption is that he is the NCP.

$90 is definitely too high for one child. Normally, we will spend approximately $70 - $100 for three kids, but that is buying EVERYTHING on the list. We stopped doing that this year because they didn't use half the crap we bought. IF they need it we will buy it later.

Our bill for a 6th grader and a 9th grader was $200, but that included $100 worth of backpacks. OBS is reusing some of his binders from last year as we bought the pricier ones from Staples. I stockpile things like pens, pencils and paper year round. Both are boys, so they were not into the brand name stuff other than the Crayola twist-able colored pencils.

Ask her to copy the entire receipt, redact the items that are personal to her and intended for the child as school supplies. Tell her once this is received you would happily provided her with 50% of that cost.

If you really wanted, provide her with a similar receipt showing the purchase of the back pack, and request half in return.

They will resent you either way unfortunately if BM is like that, which clearly she is. A couple of years ago I bought school supplies for skids as I was out shopping for my bio kids and they had good bargains. Didn't use the house fund but no matter, when I gave them to the skids they left them unopened and never used them or brought them to school. Months later I took the unopened packages from their rooms and gave them to my daughter. They have never used anything that I personally bought them, the thing sits there unopened. I feel it's because they would feel disloyal to their mother. They are kids so I just don't buy anything for them anymore and chalk it up to BM's craziness. DH and I can get gifts for them and those they will use......although they never take the items to her house. Sad really.

Get the full receipt or don't pay, she knows exactly what she is doing.

BM in my case used to write a bunch of expenses down on a piece of paper and send it off to DH. I said to him "why would you even pay those without seeing any receipts?" He asked for receipts and she had a fit. She then sent him copies of checks she had written out saying they were cashed checks. Um, there was no evidence they had been cashed and at least one of them was written out for the wrong amount and had the wrong recipient name on it (this was for golf lessons, so the amount for the lessons was clearly posted on the webpage). She then said she was going to report him to child support enforcement if he didn't pay. She also told him she would report him to child support enforcement if he didn't pay his proportion (30% because she makes way more money than he does) of school pictures. Finally, she bought football cleats (which DH offered to buy) and then gave DH a receipt for the cleats and for a large bag of "fruit chews" her husband bought when he bought the cleats and expected DH to reimburse her for both. When DH gave her money for his percentage of the cleats, she said he was "wasting her time" and ripped up his check. Mind you, DH paid for sports pictures and didn't ask her for a dime. He also paid for glasses and sports gear for the children and didn't ask her for a dime, even though she's supposed to pay 70% of all medical and sports expenses. I've told DH that if BM thinks she's not getting enough child support, she can go back to court and ask for more, but I refuse to just hand over money to cover expenses she says she'd paid for without any proof that she actually paid. She made a big stink about paying for new cleats this year, but I know that she sold the old pair online for $5 less than she paid for them, so she maybe paid $10 for those new football cleats. She certainly would have asked DH for $50 though if he hadn't told her earlier in the year that he planned to budget for his expenses and once he exceeded that budget, he was done paying for the year.