Sad stepmother
I am brand new to this forum but I need some help/encouragement.
I have been with my husband for 5 years and married for less than 1 year. He has a child from a previous relationship and is my stepson he is 10. We have had a very difficult road in our entire relationship with his baby mamas family. They are trash that seek to destroy my family more on them later.To make a long story short they very falsely accused me of burning him with my cigarette on purpose and cohearsed him to lie at the time, he was close to 7. It was all false reporting and CPS from her family and the evidence proved that and that case was closed but it almost destroyed us.I ended up working through it but I still feel nervous around his son and quite honestly don’t feel love or warm feelings toward him.
Fast Forward, We get pregnant and we have this amazing child that just filled my life with so much happiness and love and we become a family instantly so we get married. It was just us and I am in love and happy. We get his stepson every weekend and that was okay because I was gone all weekend with work.
His mother ended up overdosing on opioids around Christmas so 2 months after my perfect wedding with my husband I became a full time stepmother to a child that I feel dispises me and has been taught to lie by the evil family which is hers.
We thought the best had happened for my stepson. His mother was a junkie and we tried to prove it over and over again with no success because you have to get caught for their to be proof. We had already sank 10 grand into trying to get full custody. Well anyway she dies and we finally get him out of that situation and maybe we can be a family.
We allow my stepson to spend Christmas with her family (which I was nervous about) and he comes back a different child towards us. Very distant and you can just tell things were said to him that shouldn’t have been. We stop the communication with the toxic evil grandmother because of some texts that her and her family had sent to my stepsons phone that I knew nothing about that questioned him like he was being abused so ALL contact with him stopped.
We end up getting sued for grandparenting time and we are forced to give her visitation rights but that are monitored by the Dad (my husband) In November we go back for a review of that and most likely they will give her more time and I am anxious.
In the past 8 months since his mother’s death I have had no peace. I can hardly sleep. I am depressed and in constant mental agony. I am worried what these people will do more to my family. I was just a girl who fell in love with a man and I feel my marriage will be in shambles over this child. Please someone help!
Thank you!
Thank you for your constructive words! They are speaking life to a situation I feel is hopeless and You’re right. Documenting is everything and I’m doing that.
In the state in whichever i live the grandparent would have to be physically abusive to not receive grandparenting time. Because his mother died she gets the time. I’m just praying so hard!! Thank you done_my_best!
Disengage or pull back
Just do not get involved in the trash talking. Nothing you can do will fix it for this boy. He lost his mother and his grandparents continue her 'work'. If he says anything to you simply tell him , "Your Dad and I love you. No one can have too many people to love them. I bet your grandparents really miss your mum. But we cannot help them unless they want to help themselves. It would be so nice for everyone to just get along. I am sure your gandparents will want that one day."
And get the boy into counselling to deal with his mothers passing. The rest of the vitriol will come out and be dealt with.
The grandparents hate the fact that you are alive and their daughter is dead. After all, the enemy is supposed to die in the movie, right? And their grandson is the only reminder they have of their daughter. So let him go there. Give him time to adjust. And document by video or recorder everything he says when he is back in your home. Be neutral. Tell him you hope he has a nice time with his grandparents. Do not give him any ammunition to use back at their place. Because if you found a cure for cancer tomorrow they would blame you for putting Drs and nurses out of a job.
Not the right advice
i appreciate you very much for your input. I wished I was dealing with someone who was a healthy minded individual. I can never encourage him have a good time with his Grandmother. She is a constant threat to our family. I am fierce when it comes to my own child. I can’t allow them to hurt my family I need to protect them.