I was a step kid and I now help take care of my boyfriend's son, so I'm in the beginning stages of step-parenting, I suppose. His son is only 4 and he liked me the day I met him, so I haven't had to experience any bizarre behavior.. but children of divorce can be very confused, hurt, and sad.. their whole life gets destroyed when their parents split up, my siblings still refer to the day we were told about the divorce as "D-Day" and it's been over 12 years since that day.

Since you can't relate to her, which is neither your fault nor your SD's, maybe talking to your husband about how he felt as a child in those certain situations. Or maybe going to counseling. I was in therapy for awhile just to help me understand why my mother was the way she was and why she did the things she did. Sometimes having a 3rd party to listen to you and take a look into your situation can help you deal with it better.

I was a step kid. I have a lovely step father who came into my life when I was nine years old. I was never b**chy to him. My sister who was a teen at that time was trying to drive him crazy...intentionally....she would literally find any reason to disrespect him, call him names, and try to cause problems between him and my mom. Even though I was just a kid back than, I knew she was being evil. Yeah kids are evil sometimes...my sister was. After a few years...about 2 or three years she finally started being nice because she realized that he was a great guy. Our biological father was never in our life(his own choice) so I don't know how it would have been if I already had a dad. I was just really happy to finally have a dad...when my step dad came along and I loved him and still do. We're all adults now and he is very involved in our lives. He's always the first person to help us when we're in trouble.

Now, I feel like I can never be the kind of step parent he was because I'm just unable to bond with ss6. It could be because his mom hates me and she's evil...but I just don't feel like the kid loves me or even likes me. His presence really annoys me and I count the hours till he leaves. I don't think we'll ever love each other...we've already been in each others lives for 4 years already and it hasn't happened. I'm currently 37 weeks pregnant and I can't help but think that I want my child to look nothing like him. I don't want him to act like him either. He's like a mini twin of his mom...he even makes the same facial expressions...I don't even think he resembles my husband at all...imagine he's not even his.
It's unfortunate because I've been able to bond with kids I use to baby sit more than I can bond with him....We're not a good match...me and this kid. =-(

I don't think his parent's divorce is an excuse to not like me...he was like a year and a half when they seperated so he doesn't even remember his parents living together or any of that. I have been involved with his father and we've been living together since ss6 was 2 years old.....and i don't understand how parents can say these kids lives are sad. If they were too young when the divorce happened..too young to remember than they're not living a sad life. I couldn't remember my parents seperation and it never even crossed my mind as a very young kid because I just couldn't remember it. I didn't feel sad....Half, if not more people are divorced these days...so how do these kids have a harder life than other kids....heck he doesn't have a harder life than I did as a kid...I mean I didn't have the luxury of having two different homes, two beds, three bikes....and I couldn't leave the house and go to my other house when I felt like changing places...yeah...so some of these DIVORCE kids actually have a quite Luxurious life compared to Divorce kids who don't have both parents.

My parents divorced twice, and both times it was the best thing to happen. Seriously, at 7 and then 9 years old, I was elated that my parents would finally stop bringing the worst out of each other. I met my step mom when I was eleven and fell in love with her and her kids. My brothers were less then excited but they didn't remember the fighting and constant bickering between my parents that I did. My SS will never remember a time when his parents were together, and SO and I are glad for it. I've been in his life since he was eight months old and I'm greatful that he will never experience the toxicity between his parents. I can't say that I love my SS yet, but I love when he is around and once we move closer I am sure that a special relationship between he and I will exist sooner rather than later. Do I believe it's going to be difficult? Heck yes, because I was no angel, but I had an amazing role model to step parenting and know it comes with the territory of being with someone who has a child. I just hope that when SS is old enough and perhaps finds himself in a step parenting role he will know that I am available for help and guidance like my SM is for me.