I am new to this and I have been reading a lot of these posts. It seems to me that the all recipes are quite similar:

Typical SD Recipe:
1. SD are very insecure, master manipulators, disruptive, perfect actresses, self-centered.
2. Fueled by jealousy and insecurity, they often use “guilt” tactics as manipulation tools to control a situation.
3. Never held accountable by BM or BD for their actions
4. Always “not –my-fault” attitude along with “feel sorry for me”
5. Skilled in creating discord among the families thru lies and false accusations
6. No matter what the age it seems like they are constantly vying for the BM or BD attention.
7.Seems to enjoy exploiting the competition between BM and BD

Typical BM Recipe:
1. Insecure and threaten by anyone who desires a relationship with her child(ren)
2. Constant feeling of being attack or victimized by ex and his new wife
3. Fear of not being in control of her child’s life to the point that she must do everything to control.
4. Must be the center of her children’s lives to the point that it jeopardizes any future relationships those children may have because they are so dependent on the mother.
5. Due to the “need” to be in control and her personal insecurities, she is constantly undermining the BD and his wife. Therefore creating discord and confusion in the children.

Typical BD Recipe:
1. Plagued with frustration, guilt, and the fear of loosing time with his children, makes the BD the primary target for manipulation from BM and BC.
2. Tired of talking about the kids with SM, because it has become a daily fight or topic of discussion.
3. Feels like he is in constant competition for the children’s love, therefore both the BM and BD are always resorting to material prizes to undermine one another.

Typical SM Recipe:
1. Plagued by internal resentment to BM and BD for producing such self-centered, spoiled, and manipulated Skids
2. In spite of internal resentment, still believes in the hope for a better relationship with the Skids
3. Consistently attempts to compensate for the BM and/or BD absences or shortcomings
4. Usually the one who attempts to promote open lines of communication between SD, BM, and BD.
5. Typically must overcome feelings of anger, resentment, exasperation, and, hopelessness.

So how do we combine all these recipes so that everyone maintains their sanity and the SD grow up to be productive members of society?