I've been with my Girlfriend for almost 3 years now. She comes from a very abusive exmarriage with 2 kids, 16-18. They don't have a father figure, he told them when they were younger that they weren't wanted. Therefore, Mom (my GF) never disciplines them and doesn't make either one do anything. The 18 year old has epilepsy (which I think uses as a crutch and I know its easy for me to say), but is perfectly able to do things in life, at least clean up after himself. All he does all day and everyday is smoke pot and play video games. His mom doesn't want to do nothing but nurture and enable him (which I understand to a point.)He doesn't clean up after himself, sings rap songs about suicide and starts getting really upset and uptight when I ask him to do the smallest thing. He doesn't have any respect for himself or his mom. I've spent my last dollar on him on several occasions but he doesn't appreciate anything I have ever done or his mom has ever done for him. I moved in with her over a year ago and although we have done some bad things (drugs), we have turned our lives around and started going to church, trying to lead by example. It seems the more we try, the harder it gets. It doesn't help that when things go wrong the kids run to Grandma and Grandpas house and get what they want, when they want. It doesn't help when I feel like when I am the only one that wanted to make things better. I'm at my wits end and I don't know what else to do. I can't continue to go on the way I'm going because it's interfering with our happiness. I love her with all my heart but am I selfish to think things will get better or am I just dreaming. She loves with all she knows and has a huge heart but I'm at a loss. I don't know what to do anymore.