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Rant

sbm014's picture

Ugh. So yesterday I wasn't ready to rant today I am overwhelmed.

Lets start with BM. She is a stupid c*nt that I can't stand. I have honestly forced her to be a better mother because I have taken interest into SS4. I have dropped everything I could and have given up money I needed for me for this kid to have the best. SO is very appreciative and makes sure that no matter what SS hears from BM he respects me. Well yesterday was the last soccer game and we all went and I was silent and tried to give SO room to go be by the goalie and be a daddy by himself until BM started to take pictures of 'her boys' and even making loud comments about this. I went and stood next to SO which he said he wanted anyways as the situation made his feel awkward. Well then it got to trophy time and she wanted to take the trophy to her house - she didn't pay for a fucking thing for soccer. Like honestly nothing and she made her eldest son wait at school after school until SS had practice to pick him up because it was at her eldest sons school and she didn't want to make two trips. She did nothing extra so SO said no well she complained that she can't help she can't afford two children and looked at me - if some of you remember a couple weeks ago I posted about her asking if we could split Basketball registration 3 ways since I am a stepmom and should be help responsible if I want that title. Honestly I don't give a damn about the title and will help SO raise SS but don't want her to know what I put into it as I don't want her to expect it as SO already knows the minute he expects it I will stop paying all together. Well this was all while we were waiting to get the trophys and she huffed and puffed. SO forgot his phone in the truck and wanted me to get some pictures of him getting his trophy and holding it etc. I did so and in the middle of the picture since she was done taking them she grabbed SS up so THEY could go show daddy. I was irrate and kept my mouth shut but the bitch talks about me stepping on her toes yet she does this, at the beginning of school on meet the teacher she signed C*nt&SO Lastname. She has done nothing bet step on me and I am just happy soccer is over because it is mentally exhausting but SS will personally ask if I will be at his games and SO doesn't want to by herself around her because she pulls the happy family card.

I did post last night about his SM. Wanting BM's eldest son in pictures and stating they just need to be nice to BM so they can see him while my SO works offshore. This is bullshit being nice doesn't involve taking pictures of a kid who did nothing but cause havoc not only in their marriage but in SO's family alone. SO said he wouldn't be there and she stated it was fine they wanted a picture of the eldest child. Later she said they didn't need him for the family picture but wanted a picture of him and SS - again why do you need a picture? She said if SO didn't want to be around they would call after the eldest son left. I feel like it was a slap in the face to my SO and then a slap to me telling me I will never fully be accepted in the family.

I haven't slept and am purely exhausted. Well we tried to get some sleep and we live relatively close to MIL and SO's little brother who is 8. Well I woke up to SS, Little brother and another kid screaming outside our window. I confronted all the boys and everyone seemed to have remorse except his little brother who ignored me. I don't discipline as I feel like no matter what I went to his mother and followed what SHE wanted me to do. I then explained to his little brother the reason I was upset is I would expect the disrespect from the younger boys not him and he is an example. Apparently he went back to his mom saying I said the other kids were better than him and I hurt his feelings. She dismissed him from not playing (What she wanted) and they have both ignored me all day saying I am mean, and there is nothing SO will do that is his mom and though he stands by me her stands by his moms decision on how she raises his little brother because that is her main child right now and her baby.

I feel like lately though SO is by my side everywhere I turn I am being told I am a shitty person. I will legit go to MILs house and do laundry and cook supper for them and eat with them when SO is offshore....we have always had a good relationship. I just I feel like I'm in a WTF moment. I mean I bust my ass for everyone but it seems like everyone in his family right now seems to think I am doing something wrong. I am thankful SO is by my side and tries to understand everything I do for people. I just like honestly I am sick of being the sweet one who tries to keep her mouth shut because I absolutely despise drama and feel disrespected.

Carah's picture

I think as sm's we are scrutinized and judged more than normal people. It's like they are waiting to pounce on us if we do something wrong or evil!!!! I feel for you as I am in the same situation. Nothing I do is ever enough or good enough and I have just about had it!!! Sorry to not offer any advice as I don't have any just wanted you to know you are not alone if that is any consolation!

sbm014's picture

I mean I love SO and he is very supportive it just feel exhausting right now. 

I understand BM will always try to better and try to have her family I just hate I can't even defend my position. SO tries to but BM doesn't care at all and continues to give me the fuck you every chance he has

As for his SM you would think out of all people she would have some understanding but apparently not - both her and BM play the victim to hard and I'm just the one ruining their hope of SO "rekindling his family" and "giving the oldest boy the father figure" when he did everything he could and I allowed the boy in our life until he blatantly disrespected us. I guess I don't get what she thinks I should do.

I'm just so exhausted with everything and feel like they think I'm evil when I'm probably the nicest thing all of them could ask for. I do for all and keep my mouth shut....

unbelieveable's picture

ah...this is what we all have in common...we are accused of not wanting to have anything to do with the kids if we hang back a little bit...but if we do too much (or what others think is too much) then we are accused of trying to takeover the mom rule...Feeling unnapreciated? Well...that's nothing new. Someday when you've had it and LEAVE for a day...or three...or a whole weeks they will realize they did something VERY stupid!

sbm014's picture

I totally agree. I feel like SO is the only one who appreciates what I do and I know he is the main one who matter but with how close he is to his family I feel like they should apprecaite it too - I have been to hell and back in sucha short amount of time.

I am actually planning a few days about me. This saturday is my nephews birthday and it will be just SO and I to spend time with my family. Also we will have our date night soon to focus about us and I have tried to give him leeway on gettin SS ready for school and all that. I still have to get SS up because that is the way SO wakes up the happiest is to have his little boy knocking on the door but like this morning I went back to bed and didn't worry about what was going on....it felt rather nice.

I don't want to disengage because I love my SS and I know SO appreciates me but I have been taking random little breaks.