Pure Frustration with stepson venting away
My eleven year old stepson that I unfortunatley love is rude, condesending, cocky lazy and just a plain mean punk. He gives me problems right and left. I get to the point that I dont even know how to talk with him about simple stuff anymore I just yell. He is extremely defiant. All this stuff weighs on my marriage to his dad. We try not to let it affect us but it is almost a sure fire bet that every week it will be some kind of show down. My husband backs me up most of the time. I think he along with me just gets tired of dealing with the bad! We have to constantly supervise chores because he is lazy and will not follow through unless supervised. We hardly are able to enjoy our nights anymore because of his almost constant chores from his constant problems he gives us. Last night he said "she enjoys controlling me" it ticked me off beyond belief. He feels controlled yes however if he would simply learn how to have a general amount of respect and stop being resistant this would not be such a problem. EHHHH! I love my husband and have faith we will have a thriving marriage! just not so sure about it being anytime soon because of his son. You would think after 6 months of marriage and almost always consistent in discipline structure and love my ss would understand how this family dynamic works and what is expected from both his dad and I. My oh my he is not five. The dynamic of our family changed when their dad and I got married and his younger sister is doing beyond well alot of it is temperment and age I understand however I firmly believe he is lazy and beyond resistant. My husband and I would both like for them to be with their mom more! The kids and us both think they would be better with their mom most of the time because she is their savior! After all from and 11 yr old perspective which parent has the money is the one they are going to want to be around more. Yes we pay an exhorbitant amount of support to her. The kids mom refuses to get a job meanwhile goes to college on grants and scholarships and collects support and we firgure it out she makes more than my husband based on the amount her rent is she has to make three times what the rent is... This is all ridiculous but hey thats why God hates divorce...He really is right! The love that I share with their dad my dh is so great! He is my best friend. I do feel bad for him because his kids are very resistant however it is somewhat his fault. He often did not follow through with structure and discipline because of his busy schedule just trying to survive He was a single dad worked full time and payed their mom 1400 month after month. Well if anything I feel better being able to vent! If anyone wants to reply great!
Thanks!(o;