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The problem with women and stepkids is the father

stepinafrica's picture

Many SMs on here are resentful because they found out too late that their DH wasn't really looking for a life partner. He mostly needed a maid for his kids.

stepinafrica's picture

The mixed messages part is so annoying. MY DH has contradicted himself so many times! He only stopped when I started confronting him about the mixed messages.

OptimisticMe's picture

I agree the problem is often the father, and the maid part was also right in my situation. But in addition (in my situation), my DH acts like a parenting fool and can't seem to understand that when he laughs about SD's disrespect, he is therefore encouraging it. When I am strict and he is lax, it leads to SD resenting me. DH is/was a huge part of our problem.

Anon2009's picture

I agree and will add that the problem is dad because often, he doesn't address his kids real issues, try to REALLY help the kids or insist that the kids TREAT SM respectfully.

stepinafrica's picture

It is interesting that when I started standing up for myself my DH started standing up for me. I used to wait for him to say 'that is disrespectful' but now I don't anymore! And he has stepped up.

stepinafrica's picture

Yes. Sometimes moms are looking for a man to fill some void in the kids lives.