Something praiseworthy happened last night!  I have proof DH actually listens to me.  We were having a group message chat with SD22 and she sent a picture of a meal she made recently and DH told her how good it looked and asked about what was in it. She started talking about how much BM enjoyed it, how BM said it was as good as a restaurant meal, hoe many servings BM had and BM's opinions on other foods. DH promptly mentioned a meal I make that he particularly likes. Within 5 minutes SD22 stopped replying to his or my messages.  This type of response (or lack thereof) from her speaks volumes.  At least it reinforces that I'm not crazy.

It also comes on thr heels of BM recently backing off when we have video calls with SD and grands.  Honestly,  quite often it would be BM initiating the video call so we could see the sgks.  Its been a bit since that happened.  I suspect DH said something to BM, but he will take it to the grave if he did, knowing it would mortify me for BM to know it's been an issue. Of course it would depend on how it was stated, too, but he's so (too) "nice" with her because he doesn't want anything to happen that could jeopardize his ability to see sgks. My therapist reminded me that as long as I'm seeing the desired result,  that's what I should focus on. But I've complained about him so much I just had to give him kudos for handling something in a way that pleases me and I feel respects our relationship.