DH yesterday did something for me that I never in a million years expected him or any male id be with to do.
About a week ago a friend of his came over and decided to make a few stupid sexist and under the belt 'jokes' in my home directed towards me. I do suffer from anxiety so most of these jokes were fed by my highest insecurities and I didnt exactly cope well with them. Every part of my being completely shattered and I was sent into a spiral of depression and inadequacy. I also felt anger towards DH who didnt at the time deal with the inappropriate behavior adequetly. Keeping in mind all the insecurities arising because of my wonderful SD's (sarcasm).
In so many words ive been a mess and my relationship has been effected by this.
Yesterday DH's same friend came around unannounced (which really pisses me off - and is disrespectful)and decided to go out for a coffee (after i looked like i was about to rip his friends head off). They come back one hour later and DH comes into our room to tell me that his friend had something to tell me and that he wanted to apologise for his behavior the other night. I was shocked. I didnt even know how to deal with this information.
I did personally want to raise this issue with DH's friend, however i didnt see it going down that well and his friend did deeply apologise for his inappropriate jokes and comments. I accepted his apology and i dont feel ultimate hatred for his friend anymore - however its going to take some time before i am able to trust that he is not out to destroy my relationship.
Anyway im quite impressed with DH as i never thought he would do such a thing for me. I know in future i need it to not effect my reltionship as much - but in reality there are so many people in my life who feel their reltionship with my DH overrides my reltionship with him - instead of feeling that its just a different connection to theirs.
So at the moment SD's are coming over for the weekend (looking forward to the 3 hour drive i have to endure to pick them up with DH) *sarcasm*. I dont feel anxious or nervous or misdirected because the SD's are coming today. In fact i know for a fact that DH promised that he would sit them both down for a long time to discuss their behaviour in the last month *re them discussing with BM that when i raised my voice at them, they were afriad i would hit them* :O
He may even do this on the car ride home, however id rather he do it sitting them down to emphasise the seriousness of it and inappropriatness of their behaviour.
So finally i have recieved the respect that i get. Im going to continue disengaging and see how they start respecting me again on their own accord, and if it doesnt happen than i go back to disengaging to remind them im not one to be manipulated. I ask that the universe/GOD assists me in not placing ULTIMATE pressure on DH and our relationship if people set out to destroy me - as it only goes to a certain level of healing but more destruction WHICH IS THEIR AIM.
Sorry a bit long i just felt like reflecting some positivity today. Maybe its time i get grateful - small things but grateful.