For a little background (if necessary) see this: http://www.steptalk.org/node/182278

I've sadly come to the realization that the situation I'm in right now is not what I want. My girlfriend and her children live in my home full time. Considering the behavior problems I have to deal with on a near nightly basis I don't even like coming to my house after a long day of work. Heck, even lately I've been coming home a little later than normal just so I can avoid her children. When I'm here I feel this feeling of queasiness in my gut. I've lost my appetite. It shouldn't be this way in my own home that I've been in for 10+ years!

I love my girlfriend and I care about her well being but if I'm being honest with myself my heart is not in this anymore. I think I've lost a certain level of respect for her in how she allows her children to behave toward her and in the home. I could say a lot more but in my heart I feel like if I already feel this way about coming home how am I going to feel when the behavior problems haven't changed and they're teenagers. Since it's my home I feel like I'm being used at times as it really feels like it's her kids world and we're all just participants in it. I have struggled with the fact that my own older children (pre-teen) have to be subjected to such terrible behavior. It would never fly with me under my roof if they were disrespectful but my GF's children can yell, grunt loudly, and be outright rude and disrespectful without any *real* consequence. Look, I may not be the greatest father in the world but I firmly believe in consequences for poor behavior. It's how I raised my children. Also, I don't buy the "they're girls and more emotional" argument either. I feel it's a cop out and excuse for a lack of discipline.

I feel like my girlfriend is great but if my heart is not in this she deserves to be let go to find another mate who could love her in a way I just can't. I can't fake it for the rest of my life or at the very least the next ten years with her children around.

Here is my real concern area...she is largely dependent on me. She and her children live in my home. It's legally my home and she doesn't pay bills here. We don't have any joint accounts. She doesn't make a lot of money and she doesn't receive a whole heck of a lot in child support. Obviously I can't keep a relationship going because she's made herself dependent but how do I even break up this blended family? Do I offer to help with moving expenses? Do I give her two months? Do I ever mention the children are part of the problem??? I know every break up situation in a blended family is unique but I don't even know where to begin or what a baseline would even look like. Needless to say this situation has been a tremendous learning experience and I'll never again blend another family without being far more prepared.

Please help me...