I am very gentle to her. Most nights when she is not pissed at me I message her feet legs etc. Seems she is having severe mood swings one day she loves the next day she doesnt I will take her to her 6 week apointment in 2 weeks

Well she has said she needs me and cant live without me many times in the past. I guess I do want her to need me everyone likes to feel useful. I get more from pleasing her my kids than i do pleasing my self. Be it strange thats how i am. I was hurt and grasping for words. i want her to be happy but I am confused how she is happy one day and sad the next and this goes on and on.

Thanks for the encouragement.

thanks I will keep trying

Thanks I am going to call the doctor today

Thanks for all your help. Very kind of you and all the other posters. Still fighting to save my marriage...

I am glad you’re doing better and that your husband supported you so well. I do agree I should put my feelings aside. With that said did you constantly threaten your hubby that you would leave him and take your baby to another country? She keeps dishing this out to me but this time when she returned last night I just assured her that I am here for her and hugged her. I did not get mad that she ran out and was gone 5 hours without telling me where she was going and when she would be back. I am doing my part.

She was a little crazy during pregnancy like when she broke the back windshield of our brand new car with the metal end of the garden hose with my kids watching and her daughter was in the back seat of the car she was not hurt but glass probably hit her. but now she gets mad at the drop of a hat. last night I took my 9 year old daughter over and when I got home at 4pm she was gone with SD and newborn (MY NEW SON) She does not tell me where she is going or when she will return. She arrived last night at 915pm. If I had done that to my x wife she would have called the State Troopers FBI SHERIFFS DEPARTMENT ATF and reported kidnapping there would be an outright manhunt for me with blood hounds and black helicopters.. My daughter wanted to see her baby brother yesterday but again my wife keeps the baby from my kids while her very immature 8 year old has unrestricted access.. I know she is being protective this burns me up and I won’t put up with this much longer. She even let her daughter watch the baby when she cleaned that’s after she made up the rule that no kids will be left unattended with our baby but this does not seem to include her daughter. Yes after all the immature things her daughter has done and said I don’t trust her with my baby. One time she said she was going to get the cats little ball and give it to my baby to play with. I explained to her you can’t give the baby small things or he could choke and die. But she has no discipline and is sneaky enough to do this when no one is looking.

My is going through a lot a few months ago we took her daughter for a EEG , Cat Scan doctors etc.. and we found out she has epilepsy prior to this she had two gran mal seizers the first episode 8 year old SD just fainted, she is a bit of a hypochondriac to get her mother’s attention so sometimes she puts on an act that she is hurt and is not. Anyway she is fine now and on medication to prevent the seizers. I have noticed she has become very protective of her daughter since then, if I complain anything about her daughter my wife gets pissed no matter if its legitimate. Last week my wife went to the dentist and the dentist said my wife has sever gum disease and must seek treatment or lose her front teeth. He made an appointment to see a peridontist. I assured her ” babe you’re not going to lose your teeth because we will find a way to save them”. OMG my wife is very beautiful and focused on her appearance so losing her teeth would devastate her.. She always talking about getting a tummy tuck breast job etc… now the possibility of losing all her teeth like her mother did ..she told me by the time her mother was 40 she had dentures.Oh another thing my SD came home from school with a vision and hearing test.. the results claim that my SD vision in both eyes is 20/50 so tomorrow she goes to get glasses. Poor thing she is so upset about it thinking she will be ugly and made fun of at school. I explained to her that its very common and she won’t be made fun of at school. I started naming some of my sons friends that have glasses.. With that said lots of things have gone wrong in such a short time..

I know I keep singing the same song it just makes me cope by writing this. I must say part of the problem is me because I wear my feelings on my sleeve and take everything she says personally. The other poster is right I need to put my feelings aside but it’s hard when I am nice and she rejects me. I defiantly feel un appreciated . Anyway I will call the doctor today.

Thanks for your support that’s very kind of you

Yes I feel short changed I feel like this should not be happening but I am trying to deal with it

You cant put every man in a box and say there like that. my wifes friend from Brazil stayed a month with us I took her to the airport and she said my kids are well behaved and that i am good to my wife and her kid she said my wife is jelouse of my love for my kids and is playing a control game with me I am on this board to get other opinions

thanks for yours

(Based on your other blog, the only way to make her happy is to turn your back on your other kids.)

I am afraid you may be right but I have not given up yet. My son does not even have a birth certifiacate yet and for him to get a passport we both must sign..

thanks

some of the other posts are so long i will have to answer later

Hi I have asked her many time why she does not like my kids. She never really seems to give me a straight answer. She has said things like I act different when they come and I am blind when it comes to them. She said my kids are in her space. But what gets me is I her daughter is very needy and is with us 24/7.. I knew that and I accept that... Well yes I probably have shown some partiality to my kids over her daughter but she has done the same even worse she does it on purpose out in the open.

I am posting these texts to get opinions to know if these are normal behaviors. I love my wife and just want things between us to work but when she keeps threatening to leave me it hurts because I would die to have another child of mine not living with me. I would miss her and I hate to be alone. I am a very loving hubby. I need to not let her rants bother me as she even does to her own 8 year old girl.. Yells at her for superficial things calling her idiot etc.. She is getting better after I explain to her that she may not see it but this putting down her daughter must stop for she is hurting her daughter emotionally.

Thanks for your insight..

You got a point but if this helps save our marraige its worth it. I dont see this as a disrespect. To me its better to do this with strangers and get unbiased feedback.

My kids came over today like they do every Wendsday from 4pm to 8pm. As usual my wife ignored them does not even bother to say hi or come downstairs. She stayed locked in the room with my newborn child. She does not give my kids access to even see him. She told me to go have a another kid with there biological mother if I want them to have a baby brother. rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr everytime my kids come she starts a fight. She tells me I act diferent when they come but when asked for specifics she has none to provide. Now she keeps saying she will go back to Brazil ASAP. I love her and am having a dificult time letting go. I wanted things to work so bad...

I FEEL LIKE THIS RELATIONSHIP HAS BECOME ONE SIDED. It did not start like that but as time went by she changed as she grabed for more control. She controls almost everything except our finances are seperate. Yes I intend to seek help with or without her. It seems crazy to think that a person can be the same becouse they are from the same country but if a lot of this behavior is part of thier culture then yes I think there is some conection here. As I have a doctor cousin in the same region of Brazil my wife is from and she warned me that these women tend to be very posseive and jelouse. The men to women ratio there is about 10 women to every 3 men.