PLEASE HELP
Hi everyone I am new here. Was needed some help.
I have been with my wife for 4 years on and off. She has 3 good adult kids for the most part. one is 22, 26, 28. The 22 year old has never moved out of the house. The 26 year old has never done anything on her own. Her moms has paid for everything. Now all 3 of them have come home to stay. it is 2 girls and 1 boy. The boy has a job but she is saying he doesn't have to pay right now 
he is having to pay child-support, (B) he has to pay for a court case he has, and both the girls have no job and does nothing around the house. The 26 year old has a kid, so we are having to take care of him as well. Now we are in a bad place, my wife lost her job and it is just me pulling the weight. Now we can't affored the place we are living in, not on my pay alone. So to be able to make it we are going to have to take money out of my inhairitance to pay for the next 3 months bills. She never said for her kids to get a job to help or anything like that. All I wanted from my dad (that is who left me the money) was a house. I don't how to talk to her about it. Every time I say anything about the kids, it is a fight, I just get quit don't want to say anything anymore. So I just bottle it up. Her 2 girls are so disrespectful, talk to me like they are paying bills. The 26 year old is always saying I need a break from her baby. I want to tell her you had him. My wife just gives in. She will tell us that ya'll are the grandparents that what you need to be doing. I just don't what else to do. She gets mad if I say anything about her getting the baby. So I just keep my mouth shut.
Please don't use your
Please don't use your inheritance for this. Don't waste it on such a bunch of useless ingrates, you will need it for your retirement.
I would stop trying to discuss this because your wife has bulldozed you so far. Remember that you have the same voice in this as she does. Her kids ha e no voice because they contribute nothing positive to the home are using you for a free ride, and are only there on suffrance.
Soooo... Time to downsize. Find a nice one or two bedroom home. The second bedroom (if you go for that option) can be youroffice/gym/whatever you want but will NOT be available for your skids. Then you tell your wife that you won't be renewing the lease for your current home and she can come with you or stay with her kids. Her call.
Consider a favour you'd be doing them. It's time they learned to stand on their own 2 feet. They are all capable of working, they can get a place together if they want.
Stand firm. Your wholefuture hangs on what you decide to do now.
^^This.
^^This.
...on and off.... needs to be a hard and permanent off.
End of problem.
Leave, they can figure out how to survive while you are living your best life. Commit to yourself and enjoy living well. Which... has the bonus of also being the best revenge. Take your income and hour inherritance and enjoy not dealing with that shallow and polluted gene pool.
Do NOT use your inheritance
Do NOT use your inheritance to bail out this train wreck. You'll never get it back and it won't be enough because there will always be another emergency.
you can just tell your wife that those funds are not available. She might get upset, cry, yell, whatever. Just keep repeating that you will not use your money to fix her kids' problems.
Are you getting anything out of the relationship that makes it worth staying? Because it sounds awful to me.
Hmmmm...
What would you tell your sibling or best friend if they had posted this?
I'm going to be another for DO NOT USE YOUR INHERITANCE money on this mess. I'd find my OWN place, move out and file for divorce. It's clear your "wife" is putting her kids above you and your own secure future, willing to let you use inheritance money to pay for her lazy, mooching bums of kids SHE produced.
Seriously...you said 4 years "on and off." I'd make this move the final "off." This is not healthy for you...mentally or financially.
You deserve better.
Why did they move in ?
Why did you allow these losers to move into your home ? Why isn't DH working 80 hours a week to pay for his kids ? You will not used your money or waste your money on these losers.. they either get jobs or live on the streets. Not with you
ALL OF THE ABOVE
ALL OF THE ABOVE
Im in Camp No-Way-No-How
Get thee to a lawyer! Pronto! Do not delay this. Find out what your options are. This woman is prioritizing her failed children and NOT you.
Do NOT use your inheritance to pay their way. Downsize, let them all find JOBS. I am really sickened by how badly they are using you.
Also you need to take some time to REALLY think if this is the life you want for yourself. Go on a solo camping trip, figure things out. There are millions of other women out there that would appreciate a man that would step up and take care of them when they needed him. Life happens. But how she is treating you is not right.
You must really love this woman to put up with and tolerate her Mooching progeny. They are NOT your children, you do NOT need to pay for their disrespectful selves.
Im sorry you are going through this -welcome to steptalk.
People can only take advantage of you if you let them
Do not feel bad! I could not and would not ever live in this situation. Please realize you have only one life to live and you don't want to be everyone's supporter or benefactor. I love my wife, but if she ever forced this upon me, we would be over. Every adult is responsible for themselves. I would turn off everything you pay for that you can live without for a while (internet, cable, etc.). Get a mifi and use it if you need internet. If you make their lives too comfortable, they will never grow up and get out. Stop buying their favorite groceries and get the bare essentials. If you are the only one making money, separate it entirely so you only have access to spend it. May be hard on you, but for me, living like this would be much harder!
So I just keep my mouth shut.
This. You can keep your mouth shut, pack, and leave this gaggle of losers. This situation will not only make you sick (mentally if not physically) but will destroy your savings via the inheritance and therefore deeply harm your future. Leave this bunch of moochers behind. You deserve better. DO NOT PAY THE BILLS.