Ok, I just joined so here goes...I started dating a great guy 6 months ago. His divorce is not final but before you judge please read.... He moved out of "their" house in Jan 2009, divorce was filed in May, 2009, but still not final. I did not meet him until Sept 2009. The problem is his soon to be ex is trying to turn his 12 & 10 year old against him. I know it bothers him tremendously and he constantly makes or trys to make contact with them. Sometimes they answer and alot they don't. It seems to go in spurts depending on if their mom is around or what kind of mood she is in. They do not want to meet me even though I had nothing to do with the break-up. I told him we shouldn't pressure them right now, especially with the D not being final yet. There is no use adding fuel to her fire. He says she's doing all of this because she doesn't want to split anything - she wants to keep the house without paying him any equity, etc... I tend to think she will continue being this way even after things are settled. I've tried to keep an open mind and give her the benefit of the doubt that she may be insecure right now about her children being around another woman. I thought time would show her I'm not out to replace her and would totally respect her place as their Mom. I feel really sorry for the kids. I want to meet them, but I want it to be the right time. I want the adults to be grown ups for the kids sake. Any suggestions? I'm really worried about her turning the kids against him. From what I've read about parental alienation - it can be really damaging. I have three boys myself - 23, 18 and 13. I feel I'm way passed all this small stuff and kids naturally like me.