Parent Alienation DVD
I apologize for not remembering who referred this DVD, but I want to say thank you for sharing this with me and it's time to pay it forward.
I bought this DVD on "Parental Alienation"(PAS) called "Welcome Back Pluto". I ordered it from Amazon.com on Monday and received it on Thursday of the same week! I watched this DVD last night alone and thought it was awesome!!
It explains things very well to both parents and children. Gives terminology so no one becomes confused, and speaks to kids on how to think on their own and become assertive on how they emotionally may be feeling.
I think every divorce parenting class should show this DVD, it's extremely educational.
We have experienced PAS in our own family from BM's behavior and was clinically confirmed that SD12 is alienated from BF and that BM was working on SS10. It is devistating when this "virus" enters your home.
We plan to watch it as a family in a few weeks when we are all together. My SS10 is like an "old soul" and is very insightful. He will be able to identify his BS behavior and BM's too. The questions will be flowing!
Please take time watch it yourself...and again thank you for passing it forward to me!
Any ideas on where this can
Any ideas on where this can be rented?
How I would LOVE to show this
How I would LOVE to show this to GG. But I have been told to BUTT OUT of his situation even though he complains about his plight to me and will not confront the alienator Behemoth ever.
He takes his anger and frustration out on me, will not seek counseling and has "BAHed" off the first book I got for him many years ago, which was "Divorce Poison."
He would not read it, refused it outright, and would not believe that the Behemoth would employ such tactics (she employed each and every one of them)
In fact, I swear to god if you look up the phrase "Parental Alienation" there should be a PICTURE of the Behemoth next to it!! Oh and btw, she's a CHILD PROTECTIVE WORKER and FOSTER CARE WORKER/MOTHER by trade!!!
She's actually been allowed to foster two more children to ruin as she also is a notorious free ranger.
I suggested the DVD because
I suggested the DVD because SS13's psychologist has him watching it with DH and BM. Don't worry about forgetting...I couldn't remember who I suggested it to! LOL Just be patient, because it can take a long time and a lot of work to undo the damage done by PAS. We thought there was progress being made, but after this week's psychologist appt with DH and SS, we were wrong. BM still has her claws in SS. We're not giving up, though! I'm glad you liked the DVD.
Nothemom, if you have a therapist, ask them if they have it. Our psychologist loaned DH the video to watch. You could check your library, though I'm not sure they have it. I saw it on Amazon.com for sale. Maybe you can find a used copy somewhere. Try ebay?
I literally just watched it 5
I literally just watched it 5 minutes ago. I feel it was informative for people that are not familiar with the concept of PAS so it was educational but I am not truly sure how I feel about some of the tips-in fact I skipped over the end of it as it was annoying me a bit. It talks about the rejected parent needing to develop a "thick skin" and that the "relationship is more important than being right"-I fear that when some guilty daddies get ahold of these messages then they may just take them and run with them. As in, "It is not important for me to discipline my child because they just called me an effing asshole-instead I need to develop a thick skin and focus on our relationship instead of teaching the "right" behaviors"
Or "I am just going to stand here and allow my dd to call my wife an effing biatch because I know that my child is really just a victim. She does not want to act this way and I need to focus on our relationship instead of being right"
Those were the kind of messages that really disturbed me. Most of the rest of it I agreed with-but so many of these kiddos who are alienated are completely out of control and you must ensure safe behavior and set limits on inappropriate behavior. It fine to understand where it comes from-but just developing a thick skin and focusing on the relationship is not gonna cut it in a lot of situations.
I didn't take it to mean that
I didn't take it to mean that the kids could get away with unacceptable behavior (although I don't remember all of it and need to watch it again). My DH would never let SS disrespect me without consequences. By "thick skin" I take it to mean don't let it get to you and wear you down. Love them regardless of what they say/do (obviously intended for bio parent as that is impossible for steps IMHO). By loving them, it doesn't mean let them get away with murder. Just don't take it personally.
I do understand your points, though, and agree. I think this DVD is an excellent resource along with a therapist of some kind...somebody who can help the child sort it all out.
My DH has had a few therapists over the years tell him to just keep loving them...that they will look back and see the truth some day (hopefully). I don't think there is any one answer. Every situation is different, every child is different. BM's are DEFINITELY different!
Yes, I agree that YOUR
Yes, I agree that YOUR interpretation is how a normal person might interpret-developing a thick skin-BUT I am thinking of some of the guilty daddies out there that are already prone to nonparenting-I fear that this would almost give them an excuse to continue nonparenting.
I am a therapist myself so i watched it both from the viewpoint of what my step situation is like and what would be helpful to some of my clients. I do think some of my clients might benefit from it.
You're a therapist?? Will
You're a therapist?? Will you come and live with us?? LOL
I do see your point. I like the DVD because it calls a spade a spade. It gets right to the point and doesn't beat around the bush. SS13 needs to start hearing the other side of things. Hopefully it's not too late. DH feels like he's walking a tightrope. He chooses his battles because he doesn't want to lose all influence he has with them. There are things I feel he should be harder on them for, but I do understand why he is not. It's so frustrating. BM tells SS13 and SD19 that DH is an abuser and bully. Any time he's "firm" or doesn't give them what they want, he's a bully. God forbid he ever raise his voice, which he rarely does with anybody. Only 5 more years til SS is 18...5 very long years...