O/T Just wondering..does anyone else think the term "2nd wife" is BS ?

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Have to say, I'm so glad I started with this site. I've had so much bottled up lately I was ready to explode. And just reading some of the threads have helped. Anywhoo

Awhile back DH and I attended a gathering, that his cousin who he's not seen in many years was there. This cousin introduced me to his gf, and when he did he introduced me as DH's second wife!? It annoyed me, but I'm nice and didn't remark. Funny though, because DH and "first" wife didn't even have a real marriage.. They were two teens playing house for less then a yr. and had been divorced for about 13 years at that point.

Now I'm reading some books to help with my current step issues and I've noticed the terms " 2nd wife" and "the remarriage" constantly being used. In my opinion, I think it is almost making lighting of the marriage. Why can't we just be the wife?

DH's ex wife has never been a issue ( she's long gone). I need a book about a stupid one night stand with a bar whore who resulted in my skid ( no past relationship between them).. Where the hell is that book?!!

And damn it authors, stop calling us the " 2nd wife" and referring to our marriages as the "remarriage".

What's your opinions on it?

I have no problem with it...I

I have no problem with it...I kind of look at myself as version 2.0 A much better version.

LOL, that's what DH calls me;

LOL, that's what DH calls me; Wife v.2 (the upgrade)

DH has recently been calling

DH has recently been calling me "trophy wife"
A friend of his calls his wife this (no divorce and remarriage) been married 20 years.
DH picked it up.
I always thought it was cute the friend called his wife that, when DH did it with me, it felt weird....
DH also says he married for love the second time....FIL made him marry BM because she was knocked up and they are super catholics... DH didn't feel like he had a choice.

I see no reason to clarify it

I see no reason to clarify it either and I think it would offend me if someone introduced me as a 2nd wife.
So if someone was married 3 times would they be introduced as a 3rd wife? Hmmmm.....

As an example maybe they should say this is "Pauls 2nd wife, his third fiancé and the 20th person he has had sex with." LOL

Seems like TMI during an introduction.

is this for real?

Maybe in a polygamy

Maybe in a polygamy situation? Otherwise, one wife at a time!
I could see perhaps the first EX-wife, the second EX-wife...but there is only one current wife for most of us.

Hahaha

I see no need to specify,

I see no need to specify, especially in an introduction, that's just weird and kind of demeaning.

I am DH's third wife, THE REAL wife, the last wife, the only one who matters.

That's exactly how I feel.

I've never thought about it

I've never thought about it because DH never married BM so she gets called "the baby momma." I would be offended if someone referenced me as "the 2nd wife" insinuating I'm a redo. Nope. Next time just go along with his introduction them when it's time to speak say "you can just refer to me as his wife instead". I feel like if the person you're being introduced to never knew BM then you're the wife.

Interesting. . . I've never

Interesting. . . I've never heard the term "Second Husband," anywhere, and we certainly all know there is such a thing. The term Second Wife seems more sexist to me than anything else.

That was incredibly rude of

That was incredibly rude of that cousin.

My husband would never call me his "second wife" -- I'm just his wife...his only wife. I also hate it when people say that ours is a second marriage. Not for me it isn't.

Sometimes I turn the tables and jokingly refer to it as "my first marriage" or to my husband as "my first husband." I don't know...it usually seems to lighten the mood and show the person how rude they're being...

In Africa Second wife has a

In Africa Second wife has a totally different meaning because of polygamy.

Love to see all the different

Love to see all the different takes on it.

In the books StepMonster and even more so in the book Remarraige blue print, these terms are used continually.
It rubbed me the wrong way when idiot cousin used it, but really got my attention in the books.

DH was never married or even in a relationship for that matter, that brought my 2nd SS, she too is reffered to as "baby mama".

I'd have been pissed too! and

I'd have been pissed too! and I would probably have followed Sally and commented about sister wives.

I have been referred to as

I have been referred to as "his new wife" by my in-laws and we had been married 2 years at that point. I prefer them to introduce me by my name, period. I am a person, not an extension of dh.

I hate that term as well.

I hate that term as well. Luckily for me, I am my husband's first wife. He and BM were never married. But a lot of people assume that because they have a child together, they were married. It bugs me when people refer to BM as my husband's ex wife - I clarify that she was just his girlfriend who got pregnant two months into the relationship.

Ugh. Yeah, I agree with

Ugh. Yeah, I agree with those who say it's wife and ex-wife. No need to say "second wife".

I don't mind being the "second wife" without it being called that. I like to tease DH that he needed practice at marriage before me.

We live in a pro-BM state, and DH said to me that he would be penniless if we were to divorce, especially since we have 3 children together. (He makes very good money.) After going through one divorce, he knew the risks, and still wanted to marry me. It's not always bad.

you know what's

you know what's worse?

CURRENT WIFE.

I HATE when I see that reference. Just freaking hate it.