Ok, here's a question
I might never go through with this. But here it is, all being put out there.
My kids' bio father is an illegal immigrant who fled the country after being bailed out of jail for spousal abuse.
Well after he left the country i found out he had 2 other women pregnant. One of which i think went with him to his home country.
Well fast forward 14 years. You know how when you get bored you search people up on social media. I wanted to see if i could find him, see if he had anymore kids, how horrible he must be looking 14 years later. Well, i didn't find him, but i found his mother that I've never met. I haven't sent her any messages, i really don't want anything from her. But i do wonder if she would like to know about her grandchilden. I know it's suicidal media stalking, and maybe a little creepy. Should i just leave it alone, since i don't really want anything from them, other than maybe a long distance grandmother for my children?
Are you 100% certain she is
Are you 100% certain she is actually his mother?
Yes, he told me his parents
Yes, he told me his parents names, and I've seen her picture when i was him, and in a picture she had of him on her profile, she called him her son.
Does she know that you had
Does she know that you had his child? You could contact her, but after 14 years, it will may very well seem kinda stalkerish.
What culture are you dealing
What culture are you dealing with? Personally I wouldn't open Pandora's box until the kids were 18. He's you ex for some reason and who's to say what his family is like? Are you ready to protect your kids from the worst? Could you once you introduced everyone? Do you want your ex back in your life? too many questions
I think you're flirting with
I think you're flirting with disaster.
In my experience with adopted friends, they search for their bio families and it has never even once turned out well. In all cases, they wanted nothing but a connection with "real" family but they were disappointed, used or in some cases, horrified, by what they learned.
That's not to say it would turn out bad for you or your kid. But your child's father has an unfortunate history. There's no telling how it turned out for him after his last known whereabouts. If you found out he is a homicide victim or in prison somewhere for beating a woman to death, you might rather not know because surely your child will ask you someday. You'd be taking a chance. So I guess the question is, given his background, do you feel lucky?
Thank you, i think ya'll are
Thank you, i think ya'll are right.
Chances are she knows she.
Chances are she knows she. has a plethora of grandbabies running around out there if she is close to her son at all. I wouldn't bother but save the facebook ID for when your kid starts to ask about his dad. That will be his choice.
Thank you! That's what i plan
Thank you! That's what i plan on doing now.