"I want to know how much longer THAT DOG is going to keep restricting us from places can move into". :jawdrop:

I hope you carefully explain to him that furbaby (or future furbaby)and you would be quite content and comfortable in a one bedroom place without him.

Tell him as of TODAY you will no longer finance his child. And you'll be happy to pick up the other $15 of rent.

I was a total non dog person for the first 35 years of my life. Not sure why I got a dog but I fell in love and have now had dogs for 30+ years. I might give up my DH (who I adore) before I gave up my dog.

But I do remember quite well in my non pet years just totally not understanding how people felt about their pets. I felt just like ImaSmom back then. So I do know what it's like not to have that bond. But I would never have deprived someone else of having a pet - especially so I could suck them dry of money for my needs.

He's a selfish bastard. What kind of ahole ever expects his new partner to support HIS child? That's a total dick move even without the dog issue.

Omg, no no no. No way would I ever give up my dogs or agree to not have any more in the future. And sure as hell, there is NO WAY I would be forking out hundreds of dollars a month for SOMEONE ELSE'S child, when we're not even married.

What sort of man allows his fiance to do that???

I'd be heartbroken if my husband was waiting for the dogs to die

I don't understand why on earth you are contributing to the cost of someone else's child when you supposedly can't afford a child of your own. :jawdrop: That sounds a wee bit backwards. And insane.

You both needed to speak up long ago. It took him 6 years and you still haven't spoken up. You want a child and he doesn't want a dog. Lots of time has passed, If you two aren't married by now, you should be questioning major things anyway. Time to give the whole relationship a good look. It may be time to move on for all of the other reasons too. Good luck

Just like you knew and accepted the fact that your DF had a child when you got together, he knew and seemed to accept that you had a dog. It sounds like the dog is well behaved, so it doesn't seem there is a valid reason why he has changed his mind.

Pick up the $15.00 a month he is paying for the dog and quit paying the $300.00 you are paying towards the child. What is his financial situation? Is he paying more than he is court ordered for the child? Why do you have to pay that much?

Not only NO, but HELL NO.

Your fiancé is very selfish. I have dogs, and I would never give them up. For your fiancé to expect you to not only forgo having your own children, but also the love of a pet is ridiculous. It makes it ten times worse in the fact he does not have to compromise one bit. He has his kid, which you have accepted, housed, financed and make sacrifices for. Perhaps you should suggest that he gives BM 100% custody of his kid so that the skid does't restrict the places you can move into . Suggest a nice one bedroom apartment much nearer your work would suit you more, seeing as you wouldn't have those pesky kids and dogs cramping your style }:)

Yes, a pet can't be compared to a kid for the most part. But in your situation your pet is your kid. What's good for the goose should be good for the gander. I think you need to sit your fiancé down and explain to him in no uncertain terms just how much you sacrifice in your life to be with him and his kid. Give him examples such as where you live, the money you are paying, the hassle of BM, skid scheduling etc. Then tell him this sacrifice is on top of one of the biggest sacrifices a woman can make - not having her own kids (should she want them). If he doesn't see how selfish he is being then I think you have your answer on how your future is going to look.

It may be surprising but generally I am not big on dictates within a marriage. Particularly on not core issues such as pets. I prefer the freedom and flexibility that we have without a pet but... tear up regularly over missing Max. He is our now 22yo Senagal parrot who ran our home for 15 years. He could not travel with us when we moved internationally so we left him with my parents. They put him up for adoption a few months later.

He was adopted by the family of the head of Women's Athletics at UT in Austin. They have two now teen girls and a rescue African Grey and by all reports from the Avian Rescue he settled right in and is a core member of the family. Apparently he torments the much larger Grey. Not surprising. He is a domineering little rat with wings.

I do miss him though. I catch myself absentmindedly whistling his favorite tunes and thinking of what he would have to say about things going on in our home.

That said, we are both also enjoying our status as empty nesters. I do not foresee any more pets or kids in our future. But... stranger things have happened. My bride is only 40 so a whoops is certainly possible as is an adoption if our close friends don't stop adopting left and right. Rewinding on the status as a Dad at 52 is a bit daunting.

I will have to dodge the kid and pet thing for a few more years I think. Sigh.

I contribute to all of his child costs when we have his son

Why? Seriously, stop doing this.

So, basically, your fiancé is just counting down the days until your beloved pet dies. Nice.

not only no, but H3LL NO.

i had to rehome two of my furbabies because of oss' allergies. that was a HEALTH concern. there is no way in h3ll i would have done so if it was strictly a jack@$$ concern.

my big ol' furbaby will ALWAYS be by my side until the day he crosses the rainbow bridge. aside from dh, he is my bestest friend in all the world. gran'pa's gettin' up in years, but we will NEVER be without furbabies.

that was a total d!ck thing for your fiance to say, and would be a total deal-breaker for me. at the very least, you should move into your own place so he wont be "tied down" by YOUR child.

I love my DH. But if he ever wanted me to choose between him and the dogs, it would be the dogs. Every time.

My DD faced this situation a couple of years ago. Her asshole boyfriend gave her a puppy, and when the puppy was too much trouble he asked her to find it a new home. She did. She moved out that very weekend. I was so proud of her.

I get the give and take of relationships. Seems like you give, he takes. That's not the way it works.

Kennel the kid at BM's and keep the dog...it'll be a lot cheaper.

Do not marry this man. He's not looking for a partner to build a life with. He wants help with his baggage. Be very wary of single fathers. This particular father has made his intentions perfectly clear. Believe him.

edit duplicate

for so to even INFER of the life span of your dog (indicating he is looking forward to his death) is a deal breaker for me.

then again, you can always say, "as soon as skid turns 18, you are kicking him out of the house."

not loving animals is a deal breaker for me.

There are deal breakers in relationships. One deal breaker is someone that wants kids and someone that doesn't. Move on with someone that wants kids. You will regret it for the rest of your life. Dint wait around hping he'll change his mind or trying to convince him otherwise, just leave because this is a deal breaker. Please love yourself enough to get the things most important to you in life.

And NO way would I stand around while my DH complained about my dog being limiting when he had a child. NO way. I'd let the entire list I've created in my mind loose on him after such a statemen. Since you didn't do that, I'm guessing you're more mature than I am. Say something to him about how offended and hurt you were by such a comment. I'd also bring up the fact that you're a dog person, which means if you want another dog down the road, you'd like him to respect that considering you're dealing with a skid. Perhaps he was just in a mood. All I know is, I love dogs, someone not being into having a dog or dogs would be a deal breaker for me. You need to find out how he really feels about the future, about another dog if that's important to you. Are you going to compromise on dogs and babies/children? Don't do it!

you tell him you are not getting rid of your dog and if dog dies you will get another dog right away, Infact he needs to come up with his child's expenses so you can save money for another dog. Maybe he should take up some side work under the table. It's not your job to spend your money on his love child or your time. Men are so stupid they need to be told what's going to happen. Yeah they will moan and groan about it but it is what it is and they need to belly up if they want the relationship. He has his kid companion and you need yours.

Oh my I'd be scared he would poison the dog if he's so looking forward to the dogs death