I remember being 17/18...even into my 20s...being expected to act like an adult and not really having a clue how to do the things that were expected of me. So, yes, I made excuses, avoided issues and felt like a POS, which only made everything seem even more impossible and I would get very defensive (mad) if I felt criticized in any way. What I really needed was a little help, but of course was far too "smart" to think anyone could help....wanting to be independent, but still needing financial support.

Talk to her; let her know that the conversation is not intended to criticize her but to help her get what she wants out of life. When she turns 18, she does have a choice whether she goes to school or not. But, if not, she has to work and contribute to the household. Her father, siblings (and you) are her family and will always be there for her if she is there for you.

I think that you should start charging rent after she graduates, and she should pay for her own phone and anything besides basic survival needs. She can "pay" for these things by doing extra around the house until she gets a job. Be clear and precise on exactly what her "job description" is. If she doesn't do it, she's fired and take the stuff away without compromise. If she does a good job, praise her/thank her; I don't care how old we are, we all like praise and appreciation. To be clear, I think she should have chores just to live in the house to begin with, but take over your chores to pay for her luxuries.

As far as getting a job goes, you/dad can help with that too; make sure she has a resume and something appropriate to wear, schedule a time to drive her for job-hunting (1-2 hours a week is all it should take & it doesn't have to be painful). Or take the bus with her, that might acclimate her to that reality. Sometimes starting a job hunt is hard because we have a fear of rejection; exposure is the only solution to that & you guys can make sure she gets exposed.

I think you should expect that she'll flounder and quit jobs and make poor choices...chances are she's only going to get crappy jobs & I don't blame her for quitting. But as long as she keeps trying and is keeping up her end of the bargain at home you can all be a family and she'll eventually grow up.

Sometimes I don't think these kids realise how lucky they are to have so much given to them. I was working from 13 (only a paper round) and then started working at a department store at 15. As soon as I started earning my own money I was expected to buy my own stuff or at least put some towards it.
Partners son works at partners brothers place and still expects everything to be bought for him. He even comes all the way on his bike from his mums (about 10 miles) to pick up £3 for his football club he goes to.
And then the parents wonder why their kid is still unemployed at 30 living at home!!

My 17 yr old ds hated highschool so he got his GED at age 16. Well now he sits around at home all the time and even though he is sorta searching for work, he is not finding anything and even though he says he's bored and wants a job he really doesn't put much effort into the search; like he's got everything so the push isn't there. Well if he were my step kid I'd be livid but since he's my son I am trying to be understanding of his situation. He does household chores for me every day so that helps. So one day I came across an advertisement for Job Corps. My ds has signed just up and is now waiting for placement which might happen about January. His friend who is struggling in his senior year also signed up b/c they can finish highschool in JobCorps and get a career training all at the same time. So now my bored 17 yr old is going to be gone for two years for career training. When he gets back he'll be able to get into the Navy with the training he receives - we've already talked to a recruiter. Sometimes these kids just need a lot of support and guidance.

The summer before my ds19 started JR year of high school I had the talk with him that he has three options once he graduates HS. He will spend the last two years of HS finding all of the grants, scholarships he could so he can attend college or he will get a job and have to help pay to live here or he can enlist in the military. He realized early that he was not motivated to look for the grants and he tried working a part time job and saw he didn't want to work fast food so he made the big decision to go Navy! He is now 19, getting paid more then any of the kids he graduated with, has learned to drive a submarine, and is getting to see the world. He has the chance to come home for leave the beginning of the year and he said that he doesn't want to come home and see all of the friends who are still stuck in the rut of living at mom and dad's and have no sense of direction.
I wrote all of this to point out that most kids at that age have no clue how to move forward (there are always a few go-getters). Talk with your DH about what you both expect out of All of the kids as they reach that age, then sit down with daughter and lay it out for her. Give her a time frame too. Otherwise it can linger on forever.
Good luck!