Never met BM
I was just wondering when did you first meet BM?
We are going on our second year of marriage now..
We have SS10 full time, we don't get child support.There were times where I had to meet up with her to either meet up or pick up SS but she tefuses to get my number and communicates through my DH.
What is up with that?
I am pretty much raising her son for her and doing all the 'mom' work..she takes him for a day and goes out to eat or go do something fun and then that's all. Sometimes BM and DH would let
me SS miss school so she can take him. I reallt don't think SS should be missing so much school but I guess her work schedule only allows her middle of the week days to take him...anyways yah we have never spoken or met....I think I deserve more respect but at the same time, maybe it is better that my DH deals with her so I don't have to.
What do you think?
I've been with my DH for
I've been with my DH for seven years now. I have spoken zero words to BM. We have stood next to each during skid events and not spoken. I wasn't the idiot that impregnated someone that is a shitty mom. I'm not dealing with her at all.
wow. just wow.
:jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop: wow. just wow.
YUP. cuz vagina. they're
YUP. cuz vagina. they're exempt from paying.
Consider yourself lucky!!!
Consider yourself lucky!!!
I met DBM at the oldest SS's
I met DBM at the oldest SS's football game after a month of dating.
It was kinda funny because my BFF and I were out at my car getting a cooler of water during half time and I see this very tall drunk lady walking like a stork across the parking lot. I giggled and said to my friend - yeah I'm going to hell but look at that woman! She is EFFEEEDD up! What a disgrace!!! My BFF just giggled and said You have no idea. I asked if she knew her and BFF said Yup and so will you.
Didn't think anything of it until the end of the game and I said to DH - OMG that woman who I told you was stinking drunk is coming this way....He laughed and said - DBM this is classy. My BFF is standing behind me laughing her ass off!! It's one of our favorite stories.
never say never! my bio-mom
never say never! my bio-mom came up to my dad and (st)mom at my brother's wedding, and expressed deep appreciation for how dad and mom had raised my brother and i. it was very touching, but about as rare as a unicorn $#!tting rainbows and glitter - so like most custodial sm's, we won't hold our breaths!!!!
I've NEVER been introduced to
I've NEVER been introduced to her. She ignores me If I say hello or anything. I introduced myself once when she came up to our car to walk the kids out. IGNORED.
She refuses to let me pick them up from her or drop them off to her or drop them off at school without my DH in the car. She tells the children I can not ~ because she doesn't know me. YET, She will make no effort to do so.
She refuses to speak to me or acknowledge my existence. Yet, she has Via text told my DH how she can tell he is not happy with me. AS IF WE CARE ABOUT HER OPINION...
She doesn't want me to go to any of the children's events OR help them with their homework since that's HER JOB.
She is jealous of the time I spend with my step children and any bonding that happens. I am a threat to her motherhood. AS you are... I do not expect this behavior to change. I never expect her to treat me as a human.
BIO MOM will NEVER respect me... I doubt yours is any different. The contact with just your DH ~ It's a power thing. She can use it to contact with your man and not have to deal with you. It's stupid and only makes her life more difficult... I don't get it. But, I am kind of grateful she leaves me alone.
More than likely, you are
More than likely, you are better off not having to deal with her.
In 20 years, I have talked to BM about 3 times on the phone, and seen her about 3 times in person. That was enough. Neither DH, nor I, have seen or talked to her in about 7 years. Can't say that we miss her.
Why do you want to meet BM?
Why do you want to meet BM? You said in your post you deserve respect but meeting BM isn't going to get respect, acknowledgement or gratitude from BM so why waste your time? YOU think you are raising her kids but you're not, your SO is raising those kids and even if you spend more time with them than he or BM does, YOU are still a non-factor doing it by choice. This is coming from another primary care giver to my SS. If you're going to help out then help out but stop expecting anything for it especially from BM. You are no one to her and she doesn't have to meet you. Besides what good would it do at this point? I will forever say meeting the BM/trying to have a relationship with her was the biggest waste of my time thus far and I wouldn't advise it. The less she knows about you the less she can throw back in your face later on.
I have been around my DH's XW
I have been around my DH's XW on multiple occasions but she has actually only spoken to me 2-3 times in 5 years. If she needs me to help out with watching the SS's, she asks DH. If she is coming to pick them up when I have them (DH is at work) she will text DH. I do not exist in her world. Only when she needs something and only as the nanny in her eyes. That is why I refuse to do anything for her ever.
no I've met her, years ago in
no I've met her, years ago in school... she was a bitch then and she's still one today...
once had a running in with her, but never again.
what ever you do, never give her your phone number, she can only talk to your DH, you have nothing in common with this woman, she will never be your friend, and best is to ignore her
What do you want to gain from
What do you want to gain from meeting her or even talking to her? She has refused to get your number so do you think you will be greeted with any thanks or respect?!
At the end of the day as long as your partner & SS gives you thanks and respect for stepping in then that should be enough for you.