Need to vent
ok so my partner has 3 kids so 13 so 12 and ss 10 due to covid and no work for him only my wage coming in as I am a key worker. we are struggling i have no kids of my own
Its his sons 14th birthday next week and last week he broke his ipad screen for the second time since Christmas so my partner pays 375 for a new screen out of the little money we have, then there's me thinking hes giving it as part of his birthday present the ipad came back on Friday and Friday night we picked the kids up and when we got home he gave him the ipad his birthday is in a week why did he need it now
So now hes just spent about 400 for what money we have left for bills on his sons birthday
There's me working long hours trying to make ends meet and hes just wasting it on things his son doesn't need im even more annoyed that when it was sd birthday the other month all she got at £100 in a card
Ss14 had over 150 spent on him every month on his xbox and other things n now hes gt the added sim contract and an echo dot we will now have to pay for each month
Am I wrong for feeling annoyed
Annoyed? I'd be LIVID! Then I
Annoyed? I'd be LIVID! Then I'd ensure that DuH could no longer dip into the family funds until he gets a job. Then there would be a long discussion about budgets, bills and what's left over afterwards.
You are not working your ass off to make sure his precious has all the toys he wants. You're already paying more than your share.
Why does he have access to
Why does he have access to the money you earn? Remove it.
You say he is your partner. Partners decide things together. They take their partner into consideration. This guy is not your partner. He is using you to provide extras for his kids.
In an intact family, when a parent is out of work, when times are tough, extras are cancelled. If partner does not have the money, it should be cut.
After he provides half of the common living expenses (heat, utilities, food, rent) partner can provide whatever extras for his kids that he wants from his money. None of the extras (or necessities) for the kids are your responsibility.
Separate your money now. Remove any access by opening new accounts if necessary. Don't let him gaslight you (reread your last forum post).
Keep your finances separate.
Keep your finances separate. Period. Bills need to be in HIS name, so if he falls behind, he will be the one responsible.
Separate Finances
No - you are not wrong for being upset and annoyed.
You are not married. Why are you supporting your partners flagrant abuse of your funds? Why is he spending YOUR money that YOU earn on a new screen for his kid? The kid has parents, you are not one of them.
It sounds like he is using you to support him and kiddos. THREE kiddos, none of which are your kiddos.
I would totally cut off his
I would totally cut off his access to the money. If he's not working, is he eligible for any kind of unemployment money?
Household budget immediately.
Household budget immediately. And your DH gets access to NONE of your money. You're generous for keeping the household bills paid on your own, and he should be grateful. But he's taking advantage of you. HELL no.
By feeling annoyed you are
By feeling annoyed you are being absolutely supportive. Time to get really pissed off about it and put your foot down. Move your direct deposit to a private account and pay only household bills with your money. No discretionary funds for DH, not one single farthing.
If he wants to spoil his prior failed family breeding experiments he can figure out how to work. And even then, he needs to pay more than half of the household expenses before anything is spent on gifts for his prior failed family spawn.
smh