I feel your pain...my 10 year old SFD is very similiar to yours. Read some of my past posts and maybe some of the info might help or at least let you know that there is someone out there that understands. Immature behavior is so annoying and frustrating (draining most definately) and I also have to deal with uber clinginess to the point of being creepy. Sad thing is though it really is not the child's fault...it is the adult who is enabling it. I walk around as a third wheel when we all go somewhere...father/daughter hand in hand constantly, putting their arms around each other, daughter texting father sometimes 20+ times a day and this child lives full time with us. No one could ever understand unless they were in the situation how frustrating it is.

I believe our SD9s are long lost twins. Does yours have to be the LOUDEST in the house? Does her voice have to carry over the kids, the tv, the washer and dryer, or your own voice? Does she snuggle on your DH and try to get your attention, just so you see her snuggle with him, as if she's trying to make you jealous? Does she try to be the one who follows you to the kitchen to watch or help with dinner (after you and DH tell ALL the kids to stay out of the kitchen)? Does she give you that freakin eyes wide open, mouth half open stare when you catch her in a lie or catch her doing something she shouldn't be doing? Does she give you that same look when you tell your DH that she DELIBERATELY DISOBEYED something you told her to do, just to show you she doesn't have to listen to you???

Sorry for the vent on your thread. But honestly? That felt good.

Oh yes...mine will lie to your face and daaaaaaaaddddddddddyyyyyyyy believes every word she says unless he has proof otherwise. On the rare occasions that I get a break (she goes to a friend's or her mothers)...my mood immediately sinks as I can hear the screaming and yelling coming from outside 100 ft away up the walk. Mine is always underfoot of her father...asking him multiple times daily "what are we having for dinner?" and if you tell her something different than what you said previously...she'll say "I thought you said we were having what you had said previously"...truly unbelieveable.

My SD is 4, so a lot younger than your SD. But, she acts like she's 1 instead of 4. She does this fake, infant like cry. She acts completely helpless. She cries at bedtime almost every night. A stuffed animal will fall off her bed and she will scream until someone picks it up and puts it back, because she can't be bothered to do it herself. Ridiculous. We use natural consequences with her. The whining and baby talk is not something we take kindly to, and she knows it. We don't want to be around a whiner, or an overgrown baby. Use your words, respect adults, follow directions, and treat us kindly... and then you will get our attention and praise! Otherwise, you won't. If you whine, I won't want to play with you. Also, acting like a baby means getting treated like one. Babies don't get yummy treats like brownies, and babies have to take naps when they get cranky. That stops her in her tracks. We no longer run into her room at night when she cries. We will come to her if she has a need, but once teeth are brushed, stories are read and she has been kissed goodnight it is bedtime.

My DH also doesn't allow the kids to interrupt our conversations. We stop them dead in their tracks and remind them that adults are trying to have a private conversation, and unless it cannot wait they need to go back to playing and we'll get to them in a minute. That goes for my SD, too. She is treated no different than my own daughter who lives with us full time.

It really comes down to how DH handles SD. If he is giving into her act, it makes it 10 times harder. My DH doesn't give in, and if I draw a line in the sand he backs me up.

Mom to 5, I have/had the same issues with my SD7. I could of written the same post so I know what your going through. I also added you as a friend so please feel free to add me as well. It is frustrating to have an "older" child act like a 1 or 2 year old knowing full well what they are doing. Its even more frustrating when the BM allows it and condones it at her house. The BM here actually still carries her on her hip! I remember a couple times we went to pick her up and she came to the door carrying her like she was 2. Since she is small for her age, its not an issue picking her up as I sometimes have to when she falls asleep on the couch and I dont want to wake her up to walk her to her room. Its alot easier for me just to pick her up and carry her to her room but thats the ONLY time I do it. She will come up to me and dad and say UP and hold her arms up. I tell her flat out that I will NOT be carrying her like a baby. I have gotten on hubby on this and its getting better but he still gives in from time to time when she gets clingy and whiney. Thanks

Katie

LOL..my nearly 11 year old FSD cries "uppy!!!!!" to her father because she still wants him to pick her up and carry her.

Jojo, I am guessing he gives in sometimes doesnt he? lol My SD does the fake pouting and depending on what kind of mood he is in, he will give in and pick her up. I can see carrying her to bed if she falls asleep somewhere but to carry her from one room to the other or carry her to the car....thats going too far. She has 2 perfectly good feet and I tell her that if she puts one in front of the other, thats called walking and she should try it sometime. lol And yes...she will do the uppie uppie too! She will start jumping up and down when we tell her no and like I said, he will sometimes give in and pick her up!

Katie

Oh yes he does give in most of the time...lol One day when she is 16 and still wants to be picked up he is bound to get a sore back ya think...LOL

Is she small for her age like my SD? I hope so or he will have a back problem real soon! lol My SD hasnt even hit 40 lbs yet and she is 7! Tall but very skinny.

Katie

same with mine...she is very thin..not even 70 lbs at nearly 11.

My ss7 is the same - clinging to dad like a 3 year old and always attention seeking and it drives me CRAZY! When we're walking anywhere he's hanging onto daddy's hand for dear life and hiding his face in daddy's coat, even going into school in a morning when he's been at the same school for 3 years.... it's embarrassing! Okay, so the kid might be shy but this is ridiculous and pathetic!! DH admits it's not normal 7 yaer old behaviour but isn't firm enough at getting the kid to grow up and act his age. He'll still be a clingy baby when he's 12 at this rate!

I am new here and this is my first post. I had planned to just read for a while and get a feel for the place before I opened my mouth, but I just had to post on this thread.
I went looking for a place for support for this very reason. SD9 is exactly like this. And to Daddy, she walks on water. It is driving me nuts.
There is a lot more to this story, but I suppose it will all come out as I go along.
I just wanted to say thanks for posting this here. It really is helpful to know that I am not alone and I can go somewhere to get help or just vent.

Finally, others who understand.. I was logging on today to actually discuss this very thing. SS8 does this. And I spend more time and energy every day stressing out about it because it depresses me. DH allows it and it drives me absolutely insane. He is almost NINE YEARS OLD and while very mature and bright in other aspects, he most certainly is not in this area. If I counted how many times a day I hear DADDY DADDY DADDY DADDY it would be more then I could possibly keep track of. Anywhere DH goes, SS has to jump up and follow him. Even stands outside of the bathroom door if DH goes into the damn bathroom. It's freakin pathetic and one day I'm just going to scream! How do others deal with this? Have you said anything to DH about it?

I am laughing because this is normal i guess with stepparenting. My SD is ten going on eleven, and she still does it. Not as mush as she used to. I had to first have a long talk with him about it, although he never was receptive about it. It took alot of arguing and disagreements. Finally we went to court and they told him in court she is very immature for her age. Oh now he wants to listen. We started ignoring those behaviors, and regarding the good ones. It almost sounds stupid. But if she would be there sitting there while we were having a general convo. I would say I like the way your sitting so nicely and quietly while we are talking. Good luck

I could not believe my luck when I googles attention seeking step daughter and came up with this site.
My soon to be 10 yr old SD is driving me absolutely nuts and the more I try and get my partner to understand that her behaviour is completely wrong and he needs to take a very different approch than what he has been doing the more he tends to side with her. I try to be quiet and suck it up buts it gets to me and then I explode!
She has always been told how pretty, tall, loving etc she is and no body in his family can see the other side.
She is loud, demanding, does the baby talk thing and stings out her words, asks a hundred questions just for attention, bullies, lies, and gets out of trouble every time buys saying stuff like ooookkkaaay Daddy, um sorry I forgot, I cant remember blah blah blah.
I love her and I made a commitment when I made the decision to be with this man that I would treat all our kids equally but I find that I spend more time with her, as she always in everyone face.
I can handle a difficult child but what I can handle is her dads rose coloured glasses. I also think that in heart of hearts he knows i am right but his arrogance wont ever let him let his guard down.
It is causing fight after fight with us as he knows she lies etc but attributes everything to what she has been through or the fact that she is just a kid. Funnily enough he is hard on the 3 boys and they are nowhere near as demanding as she is.

Should I talk to her about her behaviour?

Hey sorry for all the spelling errors...I was frustrated as I was typing! lol!!

Haha, I googled rude, disobidant stepdaughter behavior and got thus site. It's my lifesaver right now, I feel things are about to get worse.

God, I feel like I'm reading a page out of my SD's life. She is the exact same way with her father.

Now that we have a new baby girl, she's even worse. Anytime we talk about the new baby it's all "DID I DO THAT TOO? DID I DO IT BETTER? WAS IT CUTE WHEN I DID IT?" It's ALWAYS got to be about her. If we are paying attention to her sister, she has to get all up in our faces and start babbling about herself. The only time we can pay attention to her sister while she is here without her being the center of attention is ... oh wait, when she's playing with her sister and still the center of attention. HA.

Otherwise it's all "DADDY. DADDY. DADDY!" He has to watch her, hold her, hug her, ect ect. Sometimes when she hugs him goodnight she'll stay on him for 5 minutes and just pretend that she went to sleep on him. If I hug him or tell him I love him , then she immediately does it but longer.

Sometimes I feel guilty because I know my daughter would do the same things and I'll think it's cute. My daughter will be lucky that she doesn't have to try and get a month of her father in four days. But I still can't stand it.

you can always treat her like she is acting if she wants to continue this sherade u could always go out and return her to the diaper and bottle stage. I had a 13 yr old do this to me once and i sent her to school dressed in a diaper and with a baby bottle and followed her all day to make sure that she was acting like a babay and the minute they are seen by their peers on how they r acting it generally stops

My SD acts and talks like a baby all the time. She is 10 going on 2. My husband and I have been together for about 5 yrs. he was married before and had two kids. We have a 2 yr old together and another on the way. His son is a typical teenager, lazy with a bit of attitude here and there, but his daughter is a handful. She has to be holding her dad's hand, sitting on his lap or hugging him at all times. She is not a "little" girl she is 40lbs lighter than I am and I'm a 34 yr old woman! However she insists on laying on sitting on, and just being on her dad all the time. She will argue with my 2 yr old and say "My daddy!" Anytime my 2 yr old wants attention from my husband she jumps in front of her and has even pushed her down to get to him first. My husband works nights so he's getting into bed as I'm getting ready for work. I've caught her sneaking into bed with him when she thinks I've left for work. When I told her to get out of our room and let her dad sleep she got mad. She still says that she's going to marry her daddy and talks about how hot her dad and brother are. She has to announce everything she does, if her dad is talking to someone she will sit there and say "dad, dad, dad" until he finally answers just so she can tell him what she just ate or that she needs to go to the bathroom! She wants us to constantly tell her that she did a good job and will tell me when she brushes her teeth just because she wants me to do a cart wheel and tell her good job! I don't think I have to tell her good job for something she should know how to do. She doesn't know how to do anything for her self she wouldn't even pour her own glass of milk until last yr. she won't cut her food by herself, and doesn't know the basics she has to be reminded what to wash before she gets in the shower, and can't even wipe herself after using the restroom. She never washes her hands either and her underwear is stained so bad I have to buy her new ones every 2-3 weeks. We are constantly reminding her to 'talk like a big girl' which I don't think we should have to be doing any more. She lies about everything! She'll talk about how fat she is then eat three boxes of fruit snacks that day! She hides candy wrappers every where, under her bed in her hamper, even in the mailbox! She cries about everything and pouts constantly if she doesn't get her way. The second that her dad leaves she turns into a different person, she talks normal, gets an attitude, and tells me that she wants her dad and I to get a divorce. She's even fessed up, in front of her dad, that she tries to get us to fight by lying to her dad about things I've done and said to get us to fight so he will go back to her mom. She's told her mom that I talk to her about what gay people do to each other in detail. I would NEVER do this stuff! She's constantly lying about having something wrong with her. If her brother does something good then she's done it twice. I've been very sick with the pregnancy and every time I get sick she has to be sick to and try to pull her dad away from me when he's trying to take care of me. I'm afraid to leave her alone with my 2 yr old but my husband has no problem with it. She blames my 2 yr old for things that she couldn't possibly do. She will come up and hug me and tell me that she loves me ALL the time when her dad's around then he leaves the room and she turns on me. She disgusts me, she lies, she cheats, she's bossy, and she knows exactly what she's doing. She has no problem telling me in detail how she plays her dad, and how she gets away with anything when he's around. He will discipline her but then gives in half way through. She's even gotten in trouble, he's given in and she'll do the same thing again, he'll punish her and then given in again! She's a spoiled brat that doesn't deserve anything. It makes me sick to tell her that I love her because I don't. It's a huge relief when she leaves my house. Her mom has told her for yrs. that she has something wrong with her and it's her dad's fault. Her dear mother even put her in a mental hospital for 3 months and called my husband to tell him he wouldn't be able to see or talk to her for a long time. When he finally got it out of her what she had done with his daughter we hired a lawyer and took her to court for custody, she won! WTF?? I won't even get into all that. But now the SD thinks that she can tell us when she steals or lies that a voice in her head told her to do it. Her mom puts both of the kids on meds. The teenager doesn't have all these issues but she would rather have her kids be zombies then deal with them. Their mother is working on her third marriage and was moved in and engaged to the 3rd man before she was divorced from the 2nd. She knew him for 2 months and he has a statutory rape charge from 10 yrs ago that was dropped. She had her daughter convinced that her 2nd husband molested her while they were married so his testimony against her would be dropped during the custody case. She has tried to sleep with my husband numerous times since we've been married asking him to spend the night with her and using the kids as an excuse. (Of course he hasn't) I'm afraid that the SD is going to do something to my daughter or the newborn. I've had countless dreams that she hurts one of them and my husband has to tell her she is no longer welcome in our house. I'm hoping he tells her that sooner than later. I can't stand her. I just know she's going to be pregnant in a few yrs. or be in jail. I can't tell my husband all of this because I told him once that she annoyed me and he went off on me. I can't talk to him about his daughter at all. He'll ask my opinion on discipline then he'll do whatever he wants to any way and tell me that I'm being to harsh. Exp. She lied to us about stealing candy the first week she was with us, we grounded her from sweets for 1 week, during her punishment she stole more candy and hid the wrappers, I found them. We grounded her from sweets and friends for two more weeks, She then stole a chocolate bunny and tried to hide it in her bag just before returning to her moms. I told my husband not to let her go on vacation with us. He said that was to harsh. I think she needs something harsh or she's not going to learn her lesson. He disagreed and said that she wouldn't get sweets on the trip or a gift bought for her. While on vacation she lied again and stole money, got into trouble then 15 mins later we caught her in another lie. She didn't get to do anything for the rest of the day! (big whoop it was 1/2 over!) then the next day he bought her a necklace and bracelet and was told that she did a good job of being good that day! ARE YOUR KIDDING ME!?? I would punish my own kids the same way I'm suggesting that she be punished. Am I the wicked SM?

Hi I've been trying to find a place to vent for a long time. My bf and I have been together for 5 years. He has a daughter that is 11 now. She was 6 or 7 when I first met and it was obvious she was the apple of her dad's eye. Around the time that her mom and dad broke up her mother went into the army and was based in another state far away. She decided to stay there and she gave custody of his daughter to her mom, which my bf agreed to and just went along with whatever the grandmother wanted. The grandmother is a whole other story. She gets a lot of child support from my bf ,also her mother pays too. and I really don't think she used it for his daughers wellbeing. Her mother over the years has been trying to get custody back, but has to fight her in court. Needless to say she wasn't in the army long but decided to stay in that area for many years and only came to visit on holidays. My bf has been in his daughter's life the whole time, which is why I feel she has a heavy attachment to him. He's a great father even if he doesn't have full custody. He treats me good as well. The problem is sometimes his daughter would make me feel like a third wheel. Every time she would be around she would act like she much younger. Talks like a baby. I can't stand it. Even the the little baby for voice when she says daddy annoys me. She always seemed like she needed attention all the time from her dad. She has to lay on him, sit on him. She would constantly say daddy daddy daddy. Sometimes when we go to the store she has to jump on the cart even when it's busy. Sometimes she would try to kiss him public. If my bf takes a nap she would try to cuddle next to him. She would be touching his hands. It would just really bother me and made me uncomfortable. I guess maybe I came from a conservative family and I liked to be independent. She is very different from me when I was her age. And for years I often wondered if she has a learning disorder. I did ask my bf one time if she acts like that in school or does she only do it to him. And he would say she's always been that way. I thought she would eventually grow out of it and couldn't wait for that day. I told my bf it made me uncomfortable and that he needs to teach her how to be more independent and keep her hands to herself. It often would end in an argument bc he didn't see it the way I did. I really try hard to accept it but sometimes I think it goes to far with clinginess. I've never been mean to her. She's very shy and hard to connect with. My bf would spoil her since she was an only child. She would always get expensive gifts that I would never think of asking my parents for. She likes video games and is quite Tom boyish. Likes everything her dad likes. The one time they went on a trip to visit my bf's brothers that she never met. I didn't go bc I had to work. Every time I was on the phone with him I could hear her screaming and running around in backround saying daddy daddy. I'm sure she was being clingy up there also. I guess since him and his brothers never had sisters they think it's cute and normal but it drives me crazy. After years of arguing I think he sort of understood how o felt and would try not to baby her as much. Now we have an son. Things have been getting a little better. It seems that she's matured a little bit but she still sometimes gets on my nerves.