my step children are beginning to irritate me.
i just seem to have lost all patience with them. their behaviour is worsening due to bm letting them run wild at home and then thinking it’s acceptable behaviour here—even though they KNOW it’s not. they can even tell us the rules here and what’s expected of them. i get that they are young, and we in no way expect them to be perfect. but my goddd it’s getting ridiculous.
i’ve tried withdrawing myself from them and taking a step back, but despite explaining the why with my partner it then becomes “you spend no time with them anymore” “you leave me to do it all on my own” — by which he means during the week i’m not bending over backwards to meet all of their demands and playing with them after spending all day doing the every day chores and all that’s involved with being a sahm to our 8 month old (who is going through difficult time with her naps, so you can imagine how hard it’s becoming to get everything done before 3pm when SKs come home), on top of preparing dinners and sorting out bath and bed time for the babe.
i’m getting snappy and find that on the weekend we have them, i’m waking up already in a mood.
any advice or tips to help would be greatly appreciated.
How many? How old?
Boys? Girls?
They irritate all of us.
SK come to spend time with birth parent
NOT time with the SP. if DH isn't home SK Should be with BM. YOU are not the kids entertainment. Explain to DH if he wants his kids to visit then he makes sure SK time is schedual. If he must leave he arranges babysitter for them. Or takes them.
'You are not the defector babysitter. You have things to do, people to see with out SK.
Remember BM wants to be the cool parent. Until she can't handle them and CS is running out. Then she will want to dump them on anybody
oh she already tries dumping
oh she already tries dumping them onto anyone possible regardless of if she's just received her CS or is running out. she's gotten so much worse with the amount time she spends with her own children and her parenting ever since she fell pregnant and gave birth. no longer takes them out even if it's just to the park, lies about the health of herself and her (at the time unborn) child to get out of simply picking SD up from school... which i think is a big factor to their current behaviour--that and the fact they don't know whether their step father is coming or going.
they're just so rude and entitled at the moment and it's driving me crazy. we get their behaviour back on track and within the gap they're not with us it's just all unravelled.
BM keeps saying SD will have to live with us if her behaviour doesn't improve, which i have zero problems with, it was something i predicted when she announced her pregnancy last year. bringing in a third child when you have no control over your current two...
i agree, i'm not a default babysitter, and i don't think he means it in that way when he says what he does. we had a lengthy chat about it and he just felt i had all of a sudden stopped putting any effort into them during the week. when actually im just burnt out. i dont have the time nor the energy to be so hands on with them in the week.
he feels a lot of guilt, and so he likes to ensure their time here is full of fun but i think since convincing him to implement a more structured routine with them during the week (homework, dinner, clean up, THEN fun) and seeing what i do during that time--he can see where i'm coming from
The solution is simple.
They comply with your household rules from the instant they arrive until they return to BM's. They get no say. They comply or......They suffer.
Their choice.
KISS
“you spend no time with them
“you spend no time with them anymore” “you leave me to do it all on my own”
Um, they are HIS kids.
Well what would he do if you
Well what would he do if you weren't in the picture? And since when is it your responsibility to look after HIS kids?
If your SO won't set and
If your SO won't set and enforce standards of behavior and performance in your home, you do it. When he bitches, tell him to step up and get it done before you have to or bite his tongue. What BM does or does not do with the failed family toxic down in her home is irrelevant. Your rules are the rules in your home and the failed family progeny comply or suffer escalating abject misery inducing consequences.
Sniffing skid ass should not be a thing in the life of a SParent.