My response to my question below“ Opinions please! Natural born psychopath?”
SEE my last post to see what's going on.
Thanks to Everyone who took the time to answer. I read everyone's response.
Most people Wanted to know why I put up with it and allowed DH to turn a blind eye. Why? Because we have a TOTAL child centered, Adults are always to Blaim family court system. Same goes for Psychologist and social workers.
SS15 has been Evaluated and put in therapy. DH has told the therapists ( there has been many) about the things SS does. EVERY one of those therapists make SS out to be "the Victim". They say poor SS has ADHD so he needs Special combinations for his behavior. They say poor SS feels the tension between DH and BM so he acts out. They say SS is depressed so only use Positive reinforcement and limit Negative consequences. NO MATTER WHAT SS SAYS or DOES the therapists NEVER once said we need to Punish SS. So having SS in therapy is WORTHLESS.
If I call the police with SS being a minor nothing will happen except MORE therapy which is worthless.
My plan is to hold out till the little bastard turns 18. The VERY day he turns 18 I'm calling the police and say SS is "Threatening me" and I want him removed from my house with a Restraining order. Once he turns 18 family court can't stick their nose in.
Why wait? All the things you
Why wait? All the things you are talking about are pointed at the parents, not you. You still have the right to install cameras, call the police and file a report, take action if SS makes threatening comments towards you. You can take a stand now...what is family court going to do? Put you in jail? They don't have that authority. Worst case they remove SS from the home....umm okay thats on DH to deal with.
SS stole money from my purse and DH
We DID file a police report. We were told BY the POLICE since SS is a minor and BM told the police we were lying it's a family court issue nothing they could do. Went to family court and the judge basically said what a monster DH was to call the police on his poor child. Yep you heard right. Whole thing got thrown out but guess what MORE court ordered Family counseling for BM,DH and step brat.
Not sure if the state we live in or what but I've come to the conclusion until the kid hits 18 you matter what they do the child is always a victim and never to blame for the behavior
So get the nanny cams so BM
So get the nanny cams so BM can't refute the evidence and the courts can't call you a liar. If it were my health and well being I would be pulling out all the stops and if that didn't work, DH and his kid could find a nice hotel to inhabit until SS is 18.
this right here!
this right here!
I can pretty much guarantee
I can pretty much guarantee you the police won't think his behavior is funny or cute. He's a budding domestic violenticator.
Let them have a nice talk with him. He won't like it. He will stop, or he will escalate. Put him on notice.
What he is doing is abuse, pure and simple. Zero tolerance. His stupid conselor can't backpedal on this.
No the police won’t think it’s funny but they won’t do anything
No the police won’t think it’s funny but they won’t do anything. I Already Went and had a little private conversation with the police department. They told me even if he hit me and I pressed charges they would at most just remove him for a few days to BM's house. DH could be charged if anything since SS is a "minor". SS could maybe have to go in front of a judge in Juvenile court but it would just result in ...guess what MORE therapy! The police then said unless SS beats me Severely to to point of Hospitalization more than likely the police can't do much more than talk to SS which would just make him worse.
At 18 the little shit will no longer be under the protection of family court or BM. They I can press charges on him and the police will Actually do something
This is some bullsh!t. He
This is some bullsh!t. He would be banned from my house. BM can keep him.
If you wait, there wont bae
If you wait, there wont bae any prior records/reports of his behavior... let daddy/BM take him to therapy more. let DH take him every single day to therapy if needed. MAKE REPORTS... that way the day he turns 18, if he even jokes about it, when you call, then they will see that he DOES have a history of doing these things.
I'm sorry your court system
I'm sorry your court system doesn't take this more seriously but my opinion remains the same. This falls on your SO to handle. This "child" is more then likely already bigger then you, he should have consequences for his actions - & needs better counselors if they think otherwise. SO should see the "child" outside the home until he can guarantee your safety.
Either your SO believes you
Either your SO believes you or not. Why are you making these things up? I mean.. seriously.. he doesn't have to witness the stuff to know it was said. If he doesn't believe you? YOu have a much bigger issue with your marriage.
I would refuse to be alone with his son at this point.. dad can put him in daycare.
DH believes me it’s BM who’s causing the drama
DH believes me it’s BM who’s causing the drama and problems in family court.
Honestly.. How can you
Honestly.. How can you support your husband's bid to get full custody? I would want that kid in my home as little as possible. BM created this monster right? let her keep him. At 15 you are unlikely to be able to have some huge impact in your home.. your DH can continue to see him and go to therapy with the kid.. but I would not allow him in the home.. or around you without your DH present. period.
I'm sure that the whole court thing is going to make things worse for you all... not better at this point.
At 15 you are unlikely to be
exactly, if you were talking about taking a child on in their most formative years, SURE. but that's between ages 0-8... this child is ALREADY who they are going to be. NOTHING is going to make the child turn out any differently. I also agree that the child needs to STAY out of your home. DH can see him when ever he wants OUTSIDE of your home. He can take him to therapy every single day, if that's what he thinks is best, but keep him away from you at ALL costs.
I'd pack my stuff and leave.
I'd pack my stuff and leave. What state do you live in? After 10+years on here I do know that some states have really sucky court systems. Nothing left to do but take care of yourself, nobody else will. Sorry you have to choose.
^^^^^ This
If he's a danger to you, then I'd lay it out to DH with no uncertain terms that if this happens agains/continues, your butt is out of there.
nanny cams.
good grief, that sucks. Id get a lawyer.
Yes agree and I'd get a new
Yes agree and I'd get a new place! I'd record, report and move. Eff waiting around until he's 18 with that abuse. My therapist told me If someone threatens your life, whether they were on drugs, mental health, a minor ect, it's down right wrong with no excuse. You have human rights, and with the right lawyer you can get yourself protected and heard legally.
I just want to say I can
I just want to say I can relate to the feeling that therapy doesn't help.
My SS also has therapy from school and our health insurance. All we've ever heard is how great he is. I don't think SS is a "bad kid" per se, but he's sure very difficult to get along with. And seriously positive reinforcement doesn't work, negative reinforcement also doesn't work. If he did anything wrong, it's the world's fault.
I'm just speechless.
i wouldnt be hanging around
i wouldnt be hanging around until the brat is 18,, 3 yrs is a long time to basically put your life on hold. you can talk yourself around it as much as you want but in the end you know you wont make it till hes 18,, somethings gotta give and 99% of the time its the step parent.