More father's day drama
SD22 is a lovely person. DH of course worships the ground she walks on. I don't particularly mind since she is civil and even friendly with me. He is a man obsessed, though.
Last year, SD bought a house 50/50 with her BF34 who has two BD's ages 5 and 7. I have been hopong things work out for her despite her young age to do the SM thing. So far, it all looks fine. DH comtinually criticises BF behind his back even though I find him most pleasant and normal.
So, for Father's Day, SD texted DH and asked if she could take him and me out for dinner. He said fine, and I gave him the option of going out just with her if he wanted. Either way is fine with me. He accepted her invitation, no idea if he included me. Whatever.
Then tonight, he said "I think I'll ask SD over for Sunday lunch BBQ for father's day." When I reminded him about the dinner already arranged, he went all falsetto on me and started beefing about how I don't seem to,want SD around! What a jerk!
So, I said back, look, your daughter made it obvious she wants dinnertime, specifically not lunch, likely because she's helping her BF's little daughters celebrate father's day with him! Man, did DH ever get a jealous look on his face...hard to describe, but clearly one of contempt at the thought of his lil darling tending to some other guy.
I know I need to just chill and let him obsess. Frankly though, it is a spectacle I wish I didn't have to witness because it makes him seem almost a parody of a real man. When will he acccept SD is grown up and moving on. She doesn't obsess about him!
good idea
good idea
Your DH makes me nauseous!!
:sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick:
Your DH makes me nauseous!!
Good point, Haevenlike, I
Good point, Haevenlike, I agree that DH is very disappointed she has chosen to become a SM before her own adult life is even started...she has a good job and does seem to let her BF handle his own kids. I don't think she is wrong to be there on father's day to help simply because the kids are so young and couldn't make a cake or lunch themselves. They are actually very well behaved girls....for now!
I know the relationship with the BF's ex is civil. That BM cheated and left, I know this for a fact because I work with that ex's mother. She is of course happy that SD is part of their lives because it means they have one happy place with their father. Custody is 50/50 but their BM is shacked up with a drunk so that may become a problem in future.
I cannot interfere with SD's choices but I hope it does give her empathy for how hard it is to be a SM. She is such a nice person, I am pretty sure DH has reason to resent the BF dragging her into his domestic situation. However, we cannot tell them they are wrong.
^^^^ Rock on. Perfect. ^^^
^^^^ Rock on. Perfect. ^^^
About the grandkids...he
About the grandkids...he seems to waver between "wishing they would come over to visit" and "they are not my GK's so I hope they don't expect anything". I don't give opinions, because tbh, I don't perceive thei BF as wanting to force them on us. So far, in a year, all we've done is cross paths on little outings for ice cream, or giving them little gifts at Christmas. The skids in this situation have plenty of other extended family so it's not like they are needing grandparents.
I just think SD may be thinking this is an instant magic family. She never speaks about her feelings toward the skids simply because they are all happy at the moment. Wait till teenage hormones kick in or her own baby arrives. Complications yet to come.
The real problem for DH is that SD was a very successful athlete, then got into a great job, and he had high expectations of what she might do ... Marry prince harry or whatever...who knows what he imagined... But being a SM in the boondocks was not what he envisioned for her. I guess he is dealing with his own adjustment to her choices. Doesn't help that DH's ex wife is also very vocal in her disappointment.
I think they should stay clear of voicing opinions. They will only get resentment back.