More advice please
Following on from my previous post .. DH has been alienated from his daughter for the passed 5 years. She's 19 now and her mother is absolutely poison. We have tried to make attempts of contact over the years which always end in tears ( for us too ) her mother has a tracker on her, has completely brainwashed her. Anyway she's reconnected and we are going to meet SD. I feel desperately sorry for her and the abuse she is subjected to and is her mums wingman. DH and I are finally settled and to be perfectly honest I am quite happy not to have her in our lives. I feel so selfish saying that ! DH had also accepted the situation after years of rejection and heartbreak. Now here she is... we have tried everything with this girl and it all ends as soon as the mum starts one of her rages . She just disengages .Now it appears she doesn't want any to argue anymore and she wants to forget the passed. I can't. I know she is only a bit reasonable atm as the mum has split with her partner and now the maintenance my DH paid has stopped ( last moth )
how can I try and connect with her again. DH said just go with the flow but we have tried that before and it didn't work out
I would do what Evil3
I would do what Evil3 suggests. Stay well disengaged until a year or two has passed and see how this new relationship between DH and his daughter develops. My guess is that it won't last long. I have been disengaged from SD23 and SD24 for over 15 yrs. Just lately there has been some increased warmth towards me, from them, but I am playing it quite cautiously until I see that this is not just a flash in the pan because NPD BM is separating from the Walking Wallet and is all over the place.
Depending on how much money DH give DD
If DH becomes the Happy ATM for his DD. She will be in your life. Time with her father and you is better and easier then working.
What do u mean easier than
What do u mean easier than working ?
Chances are she is looking
Chances are she is looking for money.
Don't give it much thought.
Don't give it much thought. If SD is reasonable then be reasonable as long as she remains reasonable. If she is not reasonable, inform her that if she is not reasonable that there will be no relationship with her.
Keep it simple.