Mini wife syndrome continues.
And so it continues... I have posted on here a few times about my stepdaughter mini wife situation. This forum is the only place I can go to just vent. SD (15) is living with us full time for nearly a year. It used to be 50/50. Her mom ( a good mom, at that) lives just 2 miles down the road. SD is messy, and straight up lazy. She has her dad wrapped around her finger. I know kids needs come first and I accepted that going into this relationship. But being a full time stepmom is just too much. I wouldn't mind her living with us full time if SO would make her pick up her dirty socks, dishes and trash she leaves all over the house, but he refuses. She's queen of the house. We've fought about this a lot and any time I bring up her mess he says I'm attacking her. I refuse to pick up after her anymore but always give in cause i can't stand living in a messy home. He expects ME to feed her dog, and at night it's always what she wants to watch on tv . I've talked to him about setting some time aside to spend some alone time as a couple even if it's just once a week, he refuses. He said he will not send her to her room, ever. Especially since COVID happened. She's constantly up his butt and he thinks it's cute, but i don't think it's normal. I think she wants to live with us full tune cause he babies her, let's her have guys over (even spending the night) and won't make her lift a finger. I don't get it. Why do dads do this? I've been in her life since she was ten and thought this would get better as she grows up, but the older she gets it's getting worse. Our house is small, she lives in on the living room couch day and night. And when it's time to relax in the evenings, they are cuddled up on the couch together and he's rubbing her feet. They make plans without asking me and he says I should just suck it up embrace being a full time stepmom. I never asked for this. He wants her with us full time so he doesn't have to pay child support. I think he's trying to sabatoge her relationship with her mom. He's sneaky that way. I'm not financially ready to move out just yet, but I'm making a plan.all I am to him is a live in cook, maid and taxi driver. I just need to get this out. I don't know how much longer Im going to last. Is this normal father daughter behavior?
I encourage a healthy father
I encourage a healthy father daughter relationship, but I just his relationship with his daughter is at the expense of our relationship. I just believe in a healthy balance and there is none.
Yea, this will not change.
Yea, this will not change. You MUST put an aggressive exit plan in place. What did you do for work before? A lot of place are hiring and allowing people to work from home (depending on what kind of career you have).
Never put yourself in another position that you can not support yourself.
Men like yours should not be in relationships period!!
the only reason he wants you is to be his maid, whore in the bed when he feels like it!! He has no respect for you!!
he tells you to take it, live in it, accept shitty behaviour and home environment... eff to that!!
my ss was 18-19 and leaving skewer stick from takeaway on the kitchen floor because it was too difficult to put in the trash. Wanna know how i dealt with that one??
i messaged hubby at work that we had an almost 2 yr old and a baby who was crawling and would easily injure themselves with the skewer sticks because ss didn’t give a shit and if that happened, i’d jab that skewer stick up his peehole!! Not my finest moment but it shed light on what a inconsiderate lazy piece of shit ss i had and hubby dealt with this immediately whilst at work
i don’t care if hubby is at work running his company, if there are urgent issues he friggin parents his kids. He does not tell me to suck it up..
RAGS, we need you here please to deal with this advice and give some instructions for op to sort her idiot partner once and for all!!
op, i too value a clean home but i refuse to live in filth just to pander to skid. I certainly would never have a husband allowing ss friends to sleep over at night. Hubby values sexy time too much and knows I wouldn’t be in any sexy lingerie yet alone any sex if skid’s friend was invited to sleep over without any consultation with me...
if these are male friends sleeping over, say hello in a few months time to pregnant sd.... wanna deal with a baby in tow?? Yeah I didn’t think so!!
There is just no place for
There is just no place for you in this enmeshed, dysfunctional Dad/daughter relationship. In the UK it's illegal for someone to have sex with a 15 yr old.
I agree it certainly is a
I agree it certainly is a little dysfunctional , but nothing more than that.
Only a "little" dysfynctional
Only a "little" dysfynctional? Seriously? I suggest you go back and read over your previous posts because I fear you have lost your sense of perspective ...
Emotional Incest/Enmeshment, educate yourself about it.
This has been going on since before you met your bf. You've been with him for nearly FIVE YEARS, and he has not changed. He does not want to change for you.
Enmeshment is a sickness these two people share, and they are happy with it. All of your bf's emotional needs are being met, and he has you to cook, clean, and give him sex. Yours is not a true or healthy partnership, because he already has a woman in his life. You're his beard, and the Help.
My late FIL was enmeshed with his daughters until the day he died. He never remarried after he and MIL divorced, because he had his girls, and their potent love was all he wanted. One SIL is in her fifties now, literally cannot adult or take care of herself, and is so stunted that without Daaddee she spiraled downward and ended up in an adult group home for a while. That's his legacy. That's how damaging enmeshment is.
Please read the post I've linked below, and the rest of the posts dunwiththem made:
https://www.steptalk.org/forum/parenting/adult-stepchildren/hes-dead-and...
You're not trapped or married to this guy, so why do you think you've subjected yourself to this for so long? Why do you martyr yourself? Is it because he puts a roof over your head? Cut you losses. Make a plan, save yourself, and get your career back on track.