Long distance custody arrangement, what does yours look like?
Forums:
Hi Everyone,
Curious if anyone has a long distance custody arrangement that has been successful?
My SS lives 3 hours away. His mother moved away with him several years ago. We've been meeting half way, but it's become a lot of driving.
Any ideas? Since she moved, should she be responsible for driving the full way?
Thanks!
Status quo is 6 months. If
Status quo is 6 months. If you fought it in the beginning you'd be right; but you agreed to it. Judge would not likely change it now.
It is doubtful mom would be
It is doubtful mom would be shouldered with all driving. Question I have is DID you agree with this move, if not, did you go back to court?
If you and child enjoyed time together prior to moms trick...she could be ordered to bring child back to prior jurisdiction. In other words there are 2 errors she made.
1.just moving
2. Moving without modifing current order.
Original order was written based on her living where YOU are (I assume). IF she didnt like that plan she must change it. NOT UP AN MOVE
Keep status with meeting 1/2way OR move to her town OR have her ordered to return child to orignal juridiction. SHE can live on the moon if she wants to but she cant take your child without your OK in new order. File for punitave damages too.
Whelp...so much for that.
Whelp...so much for that.
If you and boyfriend move to where mom and child are, HE could request to modify custody for50 50 equal time between parents.
OR
ask mom if she would agree to have the child move with dad for the next several years. Sorta like, HEY the child is 10 years old you had him for all of those years and I would like to have him with me until he Graduates High School.
Have the kid tell mom he wants to move in with dad now. IF and only if it is true.
Too often girlfriends come into the picture a few years post divorce and THEY start to get uppitty wanting to change stuff . They push parents back into court. It turns into a mess.
Good Luck hope it helps a little.
There's not a hope in hell I
There's not a hope in hell I'd have wanted more time with the stepkid around lol
Enjoy your freedom with the kid being that far away
My DH did ALL driving
My SSs lived 2 hours away. EOW my DH did all the driving for the total of about 12+ years (until both SSs PAS'd out and refused to visit.) But prior to that,. EOW, on Friday, DH left work early at 4 pm (which had to be made up) to drive to their doorstep and get them at 6 p.m., and turn around and drive home, arriving at 8:00 p.m. if the weather was good, sometimes not until 9:30 if it wasn't. The following Sunday, he'd leave at 4:00 p.m. to get them home at 6, usually find a note on the door when he arrived with instructions to take SSs to BM's parents' house down the street where her DD with her new DH was also (because she was out of town on her many travels with her new DH.) (Oh, every other year on Christmas Eve, he did all this in a 24 hour period where he picked them up at noon on Christmas Eve and had to have them home at 2:00 p.m. on Christmas Day.) For every trip, my DH paid three tolls each way, for a total of $7.50 round trip, plus gas. He ran up over 250K miles on his vehicle, which he drove until it practically fell apart, since a large chunk of his money went for CS plus paying the travel expense. BM NEVER brought them to our home. Maybe two times in all those years, she just happened to be coming to our town for the weekend, so she'd bring them and he'd meet her at her destination to get them. And I will say, my DH NEVER once complained, and was happy to do it. (Me, not so much! ha ha ha!) My DH moved the two hours away when he and BM divorced. SSs are now 23 and 24, so visitation is a thing of the past, but posts like these remind me why I don't miss it.
My kids dad moved 3.5 hours
My kids dad moved 3.5 hours away about 4 years ago now. For the first year or so we met 1/2 way. Now we each drive the whole trip to get the kids. So, he picks them up friday's after school and drives them back up, then I go get them on Sunday and bring them home when it is his weekend. We found that it is soooo much easier to just do the full trip on one day vs. what feels like your entire weekend on the highway. Something about having to do a long drive on a friday, then turn around a deal with traffic again on Sunday just blows!
WOW!
Did the two of you just come up with this arrangement on your own without any court involvement?! If so, kudos to you for being so considerate and generous. My DH's ex would NEVER have driven even HALF way to meet him. She'd rather her sons be on the roads, sometimes as snowfall was coming in, after dark past their bedtime than give DH the benefit of not driving ALLLLLL the way to her door and back, BOTH for pick up and drop off. I hope your ex realizes just how very lucky he is!
Yep... couple of emails back
Yep... couple of emails back and forth, I typed it up, he signed and we mailed it to the courts for record. Done and done.
My ex-husband and I live in
My ex-husband and I live in different countries. He gets the kids for summer and almost all school breaks. Since my family likes to see the kids, too, we usually share the cost of their tickets between my ex-husband, me, and any relatives who can contribute. We cooperate well, so this works. I think the agreement says he needs to pay the tickets, but he often has little money, and since my relatives want the kids to visit also, we make sure the tickets are paid even if he can pay only a little. We mostly care that the kids get to see all family members.