Legal advice as I don't know
Hello everyone
I am married since six years. My husband has an issue that make me always angry inside. Whenever, we argue or fight like any normal married people , he will end the argument by saying ok let's go to file for divorce, it seems me and you are not suitable to each other. He does this every time we talk or argue. Everytim . I get it as he is not serious. But, honestly, I started to feel insulted and humiliated. May be if he does it next time, I'll go to court.
If this happens? I dont know where to go as I don't work steadily. What to expect in the court. He is kind of person that has a very loud voice tone and brag of being very persuasive person.
Honestl . Iam angry deep in my side as Iam taking marriage seriously and take a great care of his son but he threaten me with divorce as he knows I am the weakest ring . He lives in USA since 35 years and involved in every detail of the law . I came 8 years go from overseas , yet I am an American citizen
Please let me know anything helps in th it s situation
Many lawyers will give you an
Many lawyers will give you an initial free consultation.
If your husband has been the primary financial support of you in your household.. he may well be obligated to cover some spousal support that would enable you to transition to a point where you could support yourself.
If it is just him blowing hot air though.. maybe you might want to see if he would go to counseling first.
Yes but
Like he is my primary supporter, yet he doesn't sc how too much income. He pays his ex and her three kids only 250 dollars a month as claims too much expenses and low income, sadly
how does he not show income?
how does he not show income? is he self employed? I would be quietly gathering all financial documents I could get my hands on...
It's emotional abuse to
It's emotional abuse to threaten divorce over an argument. Have you told him that you don't like it and asked him to stop? That's step 1.
Gaslighting and powerplay
These two things are happening when he tells you this during disagreements. My DH used to do this when we were going through issues in the beginning "fine just leave me then!"
He doesnt do that anymore, it was childish of him and it was when I wasnt working full time. They do this because they know they have the upper hand and its very childish way to argue.
Suggest marriage counseling, because obviously you want to make this work before giving up entirely. Do the work on your own first. You are from another country and likely ESL (English as Second Language) Learning the language of phychology takes some time and you must seek it out.
For example, reading on these boards, posting and asking for help - that is a good first step. Look up some titles on amazon. If he refuses your suggestion of marriage counseling, then you must do this on your own. Who knows - he might be personality disordered. Im sure there is more to your story (there always is), but you are not alone. There are many of us here (main reason we are here) because we not only have a Step kid problem, or a Bio parent issue, but we also have a partner problem.
The income disparity and earning disparity has shown itself to be a means of control. Plus the fact that he is native-born to this country and you are not. However that doesnt mean that you have to lay back and take this treatment. The fact that you are posting shows that you are wanting and needing to make some changes.
In addition to counseling, I would look to ways that you can bridge the income gap so that you are not so disadvantaged. If you need to go to college or get a certification or degree to advance yourself, definitely consider this. Fixing these issues will take much in the way of soul searching.
My 2.5 cents!
BS Behavior and use the net
As a guy this is complete BS and I agree with teh gaslighting comment. Toxic. Please check your state via some net research. Many (e.g. WV) allow you to download the forms right off and fill out the no fault variety all on your own. FIll out yours, Fill out one for him then put his in a nice manilla envelope and present it to him
1st, Do you feel safe inside your home.???
Iris...You do not have children with him, correct?
I am sorry you going thru this. I agree with what others have told you. Go for a free consultation with a lawyer---you may actually qualify for free legal aid down the road IF you decide to divorce.
If your low income..you may want to call your local Social Services in your county. Just Google it...
You may qualify for food stamps, housing, medical care etc. It is required you make an appointment with them to discuss your options. IF transportation is a problem..tell Social Services ok? They will help you.
You sound reasonably young---under 55,,,may I suggest waiting tables at a cookie cutter restaurant...TGI Fridays, Outback,,,Applebees, ...you can bring in a lot of cash 30 to 50.00 an hour. Bartenders make more if you can pull that off.
IF YOU ever feel unsafe please go to a local womans shelter. They will also help you walk thru all paper work in a safe, secure environment.
Keep us posted ok?
GoodLuck