In laws and ex.
Forums:
Hi guys I posted the issue with my stepson, but my other issues is my in laws. They seem to have no respect for me whatsoever. Whenever we go to visit them, they still have picture of my fiance and his ex all over the walls, including their wedding picture. Now his ex is graduating from school, and they are coming for her graduation. This makes me fell extremely angry an a little jealous, I don't show this feelings to them and I'm really trying to act normal, but I don't know how much longer I can hide it for without exploding. I just need to know if I'm wrong for feeling like this. Please help!!!
Thanks so much for your
Thanks so much for your comments, I feel so frustrated and confused, because I really love my fiancee, I'm just having a hard time accepting everything that comes with his past.
1st do EITHER of them have an
1st do EITHER of them have an EX-wife or husband? If so, then I'd ask them about the ex in front of their spouse...
2nd if they are not divorced and they see nothing wrong with it, how about you talk about YOUR ex...if your DH complains, then you can point the finger right back at him for not demanding more respect from his parents
My idiot MIL used to do this ALL THE TIME...talk about the ex, talk about the ex...blah, blah, blah...DH said there was nothing he could do. So, I talked about MY ex, which made her feel VERY uncomfortable, as well as my DH...when he told me to stop, I told him to make his parents stop or we would not be visiting again. It stopped.
No, neither of them have been
No, neither of them have been divorce, maybe I should talk about my ex a little more. They are coming over this Thursday for the ex's graduation on Saturday, and they are staying with us. How weird is that, I have to entertain them when they are not even coming to see me.
Very weird indeed. It sounds
Very weird indeed. It sounds to me like you should consider disengaging from them until they learn to respect you, or at least acknowledge your current place in the family. If they can't, let them be DH's problem.
He can entertain, feed them, converse with them. You can find other things to do with your friends/family while they are in town.
Why hasn't your partner said
Why hasn't your partner said something to them? My parents would never dream of doing that to my fdh, it is disrespectful and it is extremly annoying. Saying that, try to disengage a bit, would they enjoy it if they know that you were upset by their behavior?
I know how you feel. It's
I know how you feel. It's very hurtful at times to have to hear about his past marriage with another woman. They were together for 7 years, only married 3 of those. And she was the one that messed up. The only one that really brings her up a lot is my DH's sister. Just....LOVE her }:)
And she likes to leave their wedding photos laying around when she knows I'm coming over. She even invited BM to her baby shower. I did not get an invite. Did not WANT one. But she is very spiteful.
I've had to learn to develop leather skin throughout our relationship but sometimes things still get to me. I was never married before or even in a serious relationship with anyone. It's difficult to try to make a life with someone who's already done this and that, been there, bought that. Very frustrating. Wish I knew the magic words to say...but I'm still trying to figure them out myself.
Well, there is not much I can
Well, there is not much I can do to minimize the contact my fiancee will be at work all day on Friday so I'm stuck with the inlaws who are down for the ex's graduation all day on Friday. Awkward!!!
Just another view on this. I
Just another view on this. I am an ex and I am remarried. My new husband's family talk about his ex and I talk about my ex. My ex worked with my new husband's dad at one time.
I am still best friends with my ex-sister-n-law. I was married to my ex for 25 years and we have two wonderful children together. My ex is not involved with anyone as of yet. Anyways when his aunt died I went to the funeral with my ex and our kids. I am sure things will be different when he gets involved with someone and I will respect her boundaries.
My wonderful new husband is not jealous at all and it does not bother him when I discuss something that happened in the past.
It is hard after being with someone for 25 years to just "forget" about them and their family. My ex-SIL said I divorced her brother not her. My ex and I had a "friendly" divorce and still talk from time to time about the kids.
On the other hand I am a jealous person and I have to watch myself because sometimes I get really upset when DH's ex calls for trivial reasons. DH thinks it is cute but I really try to control my jealousy. I know there is nothing to be jealous about......she cheated on him and he only has contact because of his kids.
Sorry if this is long winded and hope some of it makes sense.