Kids screen time
Forums:
Just wondering what other people's "rules" are regarding screen time - particularly iPad/gaming. SD8 doesn't have any limitations, which I don't agree with but not bothered enough to bring up to DH (at least it keeps her away from pestering the baby and destroying the house). She will happily spend entire days on her iPad. BM is now apparently "concerned" that she had ADHD which is possible and I don't think her spending so much time endlessly scrolling videos helps??
Well, we in general has some
Well, we in general has some limitations on scrren time for SS, used to be total of 5-6 hours every week. He is 17 now and he can use ipad before bed time AFTER he did his study sessions.
I said in general because this kid has stole so many decices from his dad, and tried to use them at his bed time. It's getting real old. Even if we catch him and put a concequence, he will just get a computer at school and have his screen time all day there as well. He has ADHD + ASD, and is super sttuborn. Like your SD, he can stay on his ipad all day long too.
But, what is really the problem that you want to fix, is it that your SD doesn't use her time well? or that she procrastinate on tasks that she needs to do because of the screen time?
We limit it because we want the kids to be able to interact with other people/things in the world, and that not being addicted to electronics. For my SS, it was also used as a reward for good behaviors when he was younger. Now that he kinda have unlimited screen time at school and the teachers didn't stop him, we really can't do much. (The rules still apply at home, so no unlimite video game/ipad for sure)
The problem is mainly that as
The problem is mainly that as she's on the iPad more and more shes having major sleep issues - not being able to go to sleep without falling asleep to watching a film or something. And waking up manyyy times a night, waking DH up and usually myself and baby son at the same time (DH is getting better at dealing with this but there's a long way to go!!).
As well as usual concerns about an 8 year old vs the dangers of unsupervised internet access. I've worked in primary schools for a long time and heard absolute horror stories. Without it sounding neglectful, DH and BM are quite naive to this... or maybe I'm overly concerned after hearing horror stories!! Also your point of not wanting kids addicted to screens/electronics. SD is definitely at that point and I don't want her to get to adulthood/teenager and have poor social skills etc.
iOS has the screentime
iOS has the screentime feature that will allow parents to monitor kids' activities (with pretty good analysis, what app they use, how long they use, as well as the time of usage.). I hope your DH and the BM has set that up at least...my kids' devices are locked after bed time. They can make emergency calls and texts to authorities and selected contacts during the "lock-down" time. You can also block sites/apps if they are inappropriate for their age. You can also set a limit for apps.
I have used iPad to babysit DD when she was younger (as a single parent), but usually only when I need a break to eat. 8 year old shouldn't have unlimited access to electronics like that...but that's just my opinion.
Fairly sure that excessive
Fairly sure that excessive screen time isn't great for kids. But.. what I would be doing is what you are currently doing. If BM thinks the child has adhd.. she(and your SO).. should seek to have the child assessed.. then their pediatrician should be giving them some guidance on things that may help.. that could include reduced screen time.
You are correct in that without it.. the girl could be more of a presence and issue for you in the home.. many parents use them as babysitters.. keep the kid happy and occupied so they can do other things.. sometimes we pick our poison.
Definitely a case of "pick
Definitely a case of "pick your battles"!! Just worried this will come back to bite us all in the ass.
Kids should have structure
Kids should have structure and boundaries in their life.. I am thinking that a priority would be getting an assessment and following the expert opinions on dealing with those issues. If he is generally a hands off permissive parent.. it's going to be THAT that bites everyone later.
My kids are grown now but
My kids are grown now but when they were little, I did manage their screen time. After school my bios would have a snack and do homework before screen time. I sent them out to ride bikes, play with friends or other active activities as well. Then it was dinner time (no screens at the table) bath, reading books and off to bed.
My ex kept our kids fully stocked on electronic devices and games. It was a challenge to manage since he told them that if they went to his house they could have unlimted access (and he did allow them non-stop electronics in his house) but I did the best I could to have "my house, my rules" and not allow them unlimited access to games and electronics.
Too much screen time is extremely bad for kids and impacts their behavior and their health. A lot of kids end up having attention problems, anxiety, eye problems, hearing problems from unmonitored and unlimited screen time.
My kids didn't like my rules at the time but they thank me now for being the parent that taught them how to be functional adults.
That would 100% be my stance
That would 100% be my stance to bio kids. I think it's quite sad these days that iPads have replaced actual play and human interaction... it's a different world!!
My SS was a screen zombie. So, we banned all games/personal
My SS was a screen zombie. So, we banned all games/personal sreens from our home when he was in 6th grade. Total and complete ban. 5 years later we bought him a laptop for school when he was a HS Junior. Bad move. He kept it on the ralls for half a semester. We bought the computer at Spring parents weekend at Military school his Jr. year when his advisor strongly recommended that he have his own computer so he could avoid the overloaded computers in the computer lab that had long lines of Cadets waiting to use them and long sign up sheets for specific times.
By halfway through the first semester of his Sr. year he and the Spermidiot hacked the firewall and SS went into comatose screen zombie mode when he and his DipShitIot SpermDad would stay up all night playing WoW. He failed all but one class. This included the single class for the first semester of Sr. year that he needed to graduate. That class was not available again until the next fall and they did not allow it to be transferred in if he took it at home over the summer. We would have had to fork over another full year of tuition for him to graduation from Militaty school. So we brought him home at Winter break, enrolled him in our local HS, and took his laptop. He could only use it under direct hairy eyeball supervision by his mom or me. He did graduate on time and with honors after a hellish last semester of HS.
I say get rid off all access to screens for this kid except under direct observation by you or DH and do not again allow access until the kid launches.
SS has thanked us many times over the years for interjecting on his screen zombie crap.
They have a Disney Dad.
11yo and 15yo. 11yo has had a phone on thr network since December, and a phone on WiFi for the last number of years. 15yo has had a phone since 11. They are both always on their phone. Through the door from school. Watching TV. Having a conversation. At the table.
11yo has screen time centrally controlled (only since her network has gone on her mums contract ans for other untrustworthy reasons). Both of them have never had rules with phones. Ever. Have always been allowed to take phones to bed, the bathroom, the shower, you name it. Hence there isn't really any social life when they come.here to dads. It infuriates me as I don't even get as much as a hello how are you. It FILLS ME WITH RAGE how thry can be so fkin rude. But I let it go. Dad isn't arsed. I gave up nagging him about it ages ago as I was just getting 2nd hand embarrassment from his gentle parenting crap.
They ain't my skids. Mine would have manners.