It is not necessarily selfish of you feeling that way but you do need to understand that as the parent, your bf will always want to be there to take care of his child. Maybe suggest one weekend a month the BM gets a sitter and that be the weekend the two of you can spend alone time together to maintain your relationship. 

My husband works two weekends on and two weekends off. His weekends he is off of work, we have my SD. Sometimes yes it is very frustrating that we can never have a moment alone together but we use one of those nights for his mother to get my SD for the night. Not only do we get a night alone together with no obligations, but his mother also gets time with her granddaughter. It has worked very well for us. Keep in mind though, being a childess step, these situations are always going to arise. If it gets to the point where you two are constantly changing/canceling plans bc BM is not finding a sitter on her days, your BF will need to talk to her about that.

Good God read my old blogs. Tuesday and Thursday suck around here. 

Make BM pick them up after work.

I think you're with the wrong guy for that. Because it sounds like there are two kids with two different mothers and one of the kids is still a toddler, which means there is a long way to go. I'm not saying the guy might not have good qualities, I just have no idea why someone who is child-free and wants to go on dates would go down this path. 

Also worth keeping in mind that when you're with a guy who has kids, you're just one accident or illness or altercation away from having a kid full time. I've heard that mentioned here a lot and it's important to think about before you go any deeper.

Eeeee I wouldn’t want to do every Saturday either. How are you supposed to plan anything like that??

How does your BF feel about it? Ultimately it’s his decision whether he accommodates this, but that doesn’t mean you just need to just suck it up & deal with it. You need to decide what’s right for you, and it doesn’t sound like having kids every single weekend is right for you. Which is completely understandable, they aren’t your kids.

Keep the lines of communication open with him, draw boundaries where you need them (aka just because he has kids every weekend doesn’t mean your weekends need to be kid centric too), and don’t be afraid to be honest if it doesn’t work for you. Which may mean leaving the relationship, or him deciding BM needs to sort out childcare on her weekends instead of him taking every Saturday.

Either way, make sure you’re taking care of you. 

Options:

1.) BF tells BM that the schedule will remain the same and she'll need to get daycare every other Saturday. Be prepared for her to take BF back to court to help split those childcare costs, though, since he COULD take the kids and chooses not to modify the custody schedule.

2.) BF keeps his current schedule and adds on the other 2 Saturdays. He finds a babysitter for at least one of those Saturdays so you all can go out and be a couple. He seeks a lower CS payment since he is taking on more custody time.

3.) BF switches the custody schedule to what BM wants (which sets a bad precedent that she may use forever and the schedule will always change) and you hold his feet to the fire to find a babysitter at least one weekend a month.

4.) BF and BM sit down to rework the custody schedule to be less chaotic - say 50/50 Monday-Sunday. That means BOTH parents are responsible for finding child care and BOTH parents get equal split of time.

I'd personally go for options 1 or 4.

You are free of responsibilities even if the kids are there, since they are his kids, and he should be the parent. So if you want to go do things on your own rather than stay home with the kids, that's your right.  That's not selfish at all, in fact, it would be selfish of your BF to insist otherwise. 

Not selfish at all. In fact and IMHO, it is extremely important and mature of you to say no to the change in schedule.  BM must find care for the Skids on her time.  The current schedule allows for significant time with the Skids as well as critical time to focus on the the relationship and just the two of you.

BM's work schedule is not your or your DH problem.  And he is entirely wrong. He is not being forced to choose between SS and you. He is having to make a choice between you and BM.  The SKid has zero to do with it.

I was in this position at one point and I spoke to my partner about it. We have now came to an agreement that once a month we can plan a trip without the kids and have a day where it’s just us. It’s honestly amazing now that we get to have time for us only