Sorry its a bit long. First time posting and I feel a bit of a fool. I have been dating a decent man for 18 months. BF has 2 children who live with BM approx 500 miles away on another island. Some of you may think I am lucky to be so far away from her but I’m not so sure. BM telephones constantly. In the beginning of our relationship it was at least 10 times a day, every day and this is no exaggeration. I quickly realised BM knows nothing about me, to the point where BF was asking me to be quiet in my own home so that BM would not hear me. Or BF is telling BM he is in a meeting when BF is actually with me. (Please tear pieces off me for that one gently). I pointed out that the phone calls were a tad excessive and could he limit them or something. Slowly this has happened but not because BM knows about me and is giving us a chance to see if we could make a relationship work, OH NO her calls have slowed down as he now calls her to see if the children are ok etc just before he sees me. His finances are a nightmare because of his lack of budgeting and his expectations that he should pay her what ever she asks for. And boy does she ask. BF has set this woman up in business so that she can pay her own way so to speak. Of course he didn’t bother to tell her that was his idea and consequently she ran the business into the ground and now demands he pay for everything. (Her hair, nails, all accommodation costs, food, heating, lighting etc). I gently tried to point out that surely she has a responsibility for her own expenses and he is jointly responsible for maintaining his children. He agrees but says she is so bad with money at times that he worries they don’t have enough. He admits to feeling extremely guilty that he does not get to see his children as often as he likes. We are talking about a short holiday, just to spend some time away; I thought it would be pleasant if he got the chance to see his children. Fortunately the flights to the place where we want to visit include a stop over on the same island where his children are. Logic told me that he would jump at the chance to see his children. Alas the suggestion was met with “we will see”. I think he knew deep down that I wanted him to tell BM that I existed. Before I suffocate under all these red warning signs, will someone please give me some advice on how I keep my sanity. I seem to have so much resentment for a person whom I have never met. My anger is with his lack of testicles. I think I may be out of my depth here. BTW this forum is great for venting.