just a vessel for his lust

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today dh left the house after kissing me amourously and pawing at me with a gleam in his eye. the reason? the two sds are coming over for a cookout and one of them is bringing her bf. dh has a man crush on the bf.

its hard to take it when his amourous feelings for me are only a reflection of how he feels for the skids who are mini wifes. one of them calls him every day just to talk like a friend playing catch up. heck i remember when i was that young i called my parents once a week when i was on my own.

its really disgusting isnt it? anyone else feel this way?

I'm not sure I make the same

I'm not sure I make the same mental connection you do. If he talks to his kids every day, how can you justify that he is only interested in sex when he talks to them? I could maybe see if coincidentally he only initiated sex after they happened to call, and he did not speak to them often.

Not trying to sound mean, but are you SURE that is actually happening?

you are correct on this!

Hand him a bottle of lotion

Hand him a bottle of lotion and a box of tissue. Take yourself out for a nice dinner and drinks with some friends.

he only gets affectionate

he only gets affectionate with me when he is anticipating seeing them or had a really great conversation with one of them.

i am not stupid and know what i observe. i am sure most of us get those vibes.

its like he cant have sex

its like he cant have sex with them for obvious reasons so he reaches for me. therefore the title of my thread.

That is creepy as fuck.

That is creepy as fuck. Like, seriously creepy.

I wasn't trying to be mean, I was only asking for clarification of the pattern you had observed. I'm not doubting that if you have studied it this closely that it is actually happening.

Wow. This is out there.... but any chance you think your DH might have more of an attraction to the BF than simply a Bromance?

no. dh only has a man crush.

no. dh only has a man crush. nothing more. he is desperate for this young man to marry sd. i think he sees in this young man what he wishes he was like in his younger days. a twenty six dh was already married to trampy ex with children on the way. she constantly cheated on him with old boyfriends and he looked the other way until she filed for divorce to marry one of them.

lol! its pathetic how the

lol! its pathetic how the sds are always clinging when they want money or other advantages. and he eats its all up and runs around with a goofy grinn on his face.

precisely. the sds see me as

precisely. the sds see me as sort of a romantic rival. sick.

Yeah, this. And actually,

Yeah, this. And actually, feeling like a man only wants to have sex with you because he's excited about seeing his daughter's boyfriend is... not a good way to live, whether he actually feels that way or not. So I'm left with "this relationship is so lost it's beyond repair". Why do you stay?

i have too many irons in the

i have too many irons in the fire at the present so leaving is on the backburner. too hard to just leave right now.

i can see your points though.

This title made me think of a

This title made me think of a Harlequin Romance.

lol!

Maybe his children put him in

Maybe his children put him in a good mood? Hearing them makes him happy. And him being happy wants to have sex with you. Someone who is un unhappy wont want sex. I speak to my dad every other day and we have a great relationship. You could say its more of a friend relationship. And I love it and all I can think if my SM thought this was bad, was screw her.
Maybe you are over thinking it. Do you not initiate sex with your partner?

Maybe it's just that he has

Maybe it's just that he has to be in a good mood to feel amorous, and he's in a good mood when he gets to see the kids. It's tough to make a sexual connection there since that would be so wrong.

I know it's not impossible, but it really is hard to believe .

ETA: didn't see above reply before writing mine

why does he have to see kids

why does he have to see kids in order to feel any love for me? so wrong on so many levels.

I will repeat what I said. Do

I will repeat what I said. Do you make any effort with him any of the time and he turns you down?

he is always angry at me for

he is always angry at me for something. typical npd behavior and using sex as a weapon.

He shouldn't have to. That's

He shouldn't have to. That's why I think it's based more on his mood than how he feels about you.

Seeing/hearing from his girls = good mood = ability to feel sexual
-not-
Seeing/hearing from his girls = horny

Typically, if I'm in a bad mood, I'm not very interested in sex.

You certainly shouldn't be his 'vessel' though, especially with the way you say he treats you.

Again, you may be right in your thinking, but it's just so disturbing that I'm trying to believe there is a more normal explanation.