just venting
My issue is that I feel like the dysfunctional parent, in my case my husbands ex-wife, gets all the glory even though she does absolutely nothing for her kids. It is really taking a toll on me. I've tried to be civil about it because I know all kids love their parents despite their personal issues but at least give me the respect I deserve since I'm the one going to all the award ceremonies, picking and dropping them off at various sports, staying up at night when there sick, and working overtime to make sure they have the things they need. It's funny because I can remember not being very nice to my step grandmother because I felt like she wasn't as good as my grandmother, but now I see what a remarkable person she truly was and still is. I pray I live long enough to receive that same recognition.
jackiemarie, Echo is
jackiemarie,
Echo is right...my life turned into a mess over the last two years because of my high expectations for our family dynamic. I have an adult SS and I thought that hey, I'm the cool stepmom who is NOT a mom, but a friend...yeah right! He neither wanted nor expected that from me. He and his now wife spent 9 months coming to my home and visiting with my DH, but only while I was at work (their schedule was too busy DW is what I was told) But it hurt me and my resentment grew. It took a while but I learned that I am in control of my own happiness, so I cooled my jets and stopped expecting anything...suddenly OMG! No more disappointment...because? I had no expectations. Slowly I watched the dynamic change. Lowering your expectations can be a hard transition. I went from high expectations to being just pissy and reclusive until I just let it go and made it about my needs and not about anyone else's needs or wants and really? One of the toughest things I have ever done, but I am happy.
Life here now? Still step issues, still DH issues, still many issues like you read about all over this site...but me destroying myself? Oh HELL no, says the girl with the sly smile!