Is it wrong of me to want
Is it wrong of me to want my step daughters father, who shouts a lot about him being the child's dad to take 50% of the school holidays?
My Partner and I have went to the courts to start mediation to get a court order to make her dad stick to the agreed visitation, I have asked my partner to ask about some of the school holidays as we have to cover them all and with me going back to education (hopefully) I will not be able to cover 50% needed (never actually said I would do it anyway she more or less thought I would). And with my partner going back to work she would have to use all her holidays, which stops the long weekends we had planned and reduces the money we will have.
She went mental about it stating she took primary custody of her daughter and he will not do it, she is happy enough asking me to do it but will not ask the man she had the child with to step up to his responsibility as the child's father (she has never once asked the question). She said well maybe we will put the child out on the street... Like I was proclaiming her daughter was a problem when in reality I was only asking for her to get to some agreement during mediation to remove the 50% that is not my responsibility. Why should I put all my dreams on hold for the uselessness of the child's father? I already pay for almost everything as my partner had to come out of work, we are trying to get her back into working a few days.
I know I'm in a relationship with a parent and there is a child to think about, which I do a lot more for than her dad does even tho he proclaimed I'm her father, stop taking my daughter away from me. Why does my partner think its fine to completely rearrange our life so that the childs dad does not have to step up and at least to 30% of the school holidays. He is a pretty good dad to her and she loves him, but he will drop his responsibility because he know he can. It's starting to play on my mind as ultimately it's not my responsibility, but it's always happening that I have to take it as we have no other viable option.
You can not force a NCP to
You can not force a NCP to take visitation.
However, the problem is not the NCP. It is your partner. She wants primary custody, then she should take primary care of her daughter, that is not your responsibility. Your partner is being unreasonable in expecting you to care for a child that is not yours, both financially and with babysitting her. However, I don't know how much luck you will have getting her to understand that.
I'm assuming you are taking about daycare for the days that the child is out of school? Often times schools have an after school program that is open during teacher work days. Also try to find a local summer camp program, they often offer child care during school breaks. With so many parents working now a days, it shouldn't be too hard to find daycare for the child during the school holidays. And your partner is going to have to take off for the days that you can't find daycare.
Heck, if she says well, we might as well put my child on the street, say "You are right, she is YOUR child, not MINE. YOU wanted primary custody, well now you got it. YOU take care of her."
Don't let her make you feel guilty. I would not expect my BF to watch my kids for me. They are not his, they are my and my exH's responsibility. Whenever there's a holiday or school break, I either take off work or find a child care program that they can go to. It's what you have to do when you work full time.
Supporting her child should
Supporting her child should not be falling on you. If she's able to work, she needs to...as much as is required to pull the weight of her & her child.
Why should I put all my dreams on hold for the uselessness of the child's father?
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Your wife isn't working. How do you figure the child's father is the only holding you back? It is not fair for her to expect you to put your dreams on hold, & it's up to you to continue on your path. If you don't accomplish your goals, it doesn't fall on the kids parents. It only falls on you.
You're right to say that ultimately this child is not your responsibility. YOU are your responsibility. Take care of you & let the child's parents take care of her.
If dad isn't participating in the visitation as the order states, your wife can file for an ammendment to the order & request a review of the support to accommodate.
As others said - no matter
As others said - no matter what is in the orders, Dad cannot be forced to take his time. Mom MAY be able to have it ordered that he be responsible for child care costs when he doesn't take the kids, but that's not a sure thing.
But it IS Mom's responsibility to arrange for her child's care when it's needed. Whether that is paid care, or taking vacation time... that's up to her. And if that means no long weekend trips for the two of you? Then that is what it means, absent other arrangements.
Good point - I notice the OP
Good point -
I notice the OP said the dad says 'stop taking my daughter away from me.' It sounds more like the biodad WANTS time with his daughter, but for some reason that's not happening. Biomom wants OP to take care of the child as if she was his.
I wonder if the OP's partner wants him to step in and replace the child's father?
I wonder why Dad has to shout
I wonder why Dad has to shout about being the kid's Dad. Who's telling him otherwise - in word or deed?
I agree with other posters.
I agree with other posters. BM wants stepdad to be primary father figure and that's why she doesn't want biodad to get more time with the child. Nowhere does it say biodad won't take her. He is feeling pushed away, so there is more to the story. If I were you, stepdad, I would have a conversation with the biodad to find out what the deal is. Keeping "two sides" does nothing but perpetuate the bullshit between the two households. He will probably be more responsive to you than his ex anyway.