Is it just me?
So is it just me who goes into a mini anxiety attack when my BF tells me he needs to communicate with BM about their bastard child? Its a good reason they need to talk and because he keeps getting in trouble at school, he's a six year old monster in the first grade, but I get the heebby jeeby's everytime he mentions having to speak with her. Anyway I totally understand that he must communicate with her as they share a child, duh, my problem is that I don't trust her as he has told me that she has tried to "get their family" back together. My BF wouldn't get back with her under any circumstances and they have been divorced for going on four years, but I believe because she is such a pathetic awful person she realizes what a great guy she had.
They typically text/email and rarely speak on the phone and ignore each other in public, maybe the occasional "hey" (if they have to be in the same place at the same time). They do not agree about parenting styles (ie she tries to be the brats friend and my BF tries to be his parent). The kid goes back and forth 50/50 and is a spoiled disrespectful brat because (I believe) of the inconsistancy in his life from both parents. I think its great that my BF needs to communicate with her regarding this but it still makes me uncomfortable everytime I know they communicate because I don't trust her. I feel bad about that only because I trust my BF but she is a manipulative witch and it just bothers me....any suggestions on how to get over my issues with them communicating? I know it may sound silly but it sure bothers me!!!
I understand your pain. My
I understand your pain. My SO's BM (number 4) tries to get him to "come home" every time she calls. She calls me all type of names too. It's been like that for a year. BM#3 is MIA, BM#2 is on drugs, and BM#1 is about to go to jail. If I become BM#5 who knows what will be wrong with me. If it is bothering you that badly, you should leave. I stayed and now I get my ass beat my SO once in a while and daily mental abuse if he has been drinking, sometimes he doesnt even have to be drinking. Now it's hella hard to find a way out. My SO said he couldn't stand BM either and since an unforseen emergency has occurred, I will be taking him to the airport tomorrow to see his SD14 in the hospital and he will be staying with BM for an unknown period of time if he even comes back. Last night in his drunken rage, he said he has nothing here for him except me which doesn't count for shit. Don't wait to long to leave if you are seriously feeling the pain.
If you are lucky he will
If you are lucky he will leave and not come back. You should take the opportunity to pack up and so that he can have the wonderful opportunity to beat up BM4.
We lived together 6 years
We lived together 6 years before we were married. BM was trying to get back with DH up until 2 weeks before we married. He didn't ever tell me but his Mom would spill the beans and the kids. She'll try it until your married and then she'll just bad mouth you and treat you like crap.
I agree that the boys
I agree that the boys problems may be followed back to the inconsistent parenting techniques and the 50/50 split in custody. If Daddy were here I would advise him to make a deal with the mother that physical custody remain with her until the summer before he enters High School at which time he would come and live with him.
Of course both parents would have visitation on opposite weekends and holidays. If both parents agree all they have to do is both sign a letter of agreement and both keep a copy. Court action is not necessary if they are in agreement.
He should pay child support as would she when the boys moves in with Dad.
As to your insecurities I think you need to keep reassuring yourself that his actions speak loudly that she is no threat to you. Be glad he is doing the communicating and that you are not involved in a triangle.
I dunno, I've been married 30
I dunno, I've been married 30 years and don't have a jealous bone in my body. I think it's funny when women flirt with my movie star handsome DH! LOL I got from your post that they find excuses to talk to each other? I think THAT is your problem. No wonder you're insecure.
I suppose it's just a fact of
I suppose it's just a fact of life if I want to remain with my BF. I hope with time it gets easier...