They’re encouraged to “socialize” and connect by staring at a cellphone screen, collecting likes for validation, and posting often vague statuses, tweets, or IG captions. A lot of them get so consumed in the demanding goal to be Instagram famous, YouTube famous, or generally constantly capture people’s attention with a social media presence that they’ve forgotten or never learned how to hold a real conversation and maintain real friendships, just an online following. And for the ones that do, they’re working against this pseudo friendship/ pseudo connection culture. Kids these days live in a different time and go up against a different realm of social obstacles. Usually when I’m out and about and see kids hanging out, they are glued to their phones, taking selfies, and not even enjoying the atmosphere and setting around them. 

Summer camp friendships require a different level of maintenance because the kids might actually live hours away. A good solution would be to get him involved in a sport or extra curricular activity so that way he’ll be around the same kids all the time and eventually make friends !

My SS doesn't do a dang thing other than stare at his video games, phone, etc. He has maybe one friend ever and still doesn't ever do anything with said friend. The only "friend" he ever has attempted to spend time with outside of school is someone we have caught smoking pot on our property before so that isn't happening and I suspect he only wants to do so to smoke pot, even though my husband is 100% sure he has never. I know better. Kids today are losers in my opinion, well many. Our therapist told DH that allowing SS to play video games for hours on end (he will play for 12 straight hours if allowed) has caused his brain not to fully develop. SS is also frankly, a bully, as that is his way to deal with him not being as "cool" as the kids with actual lives. He constantly says rude things to teachers, friends, etc and finds it hysterical, so no surprise no one likes him. His hygeine is also awful regardless of how much we force him to take care of it so he also is "the smelly kid".

My husband said "when I was in HS kids never really went and did stuff OUT until they drove". I was like, ya no. I was at a friends house, the rec center, an activity, most days of the week. SS has NEVER slept at a friends house or had one over. It's honestly just weird. I told DH that just because that was HIS experience, that is not normal. I suspect my husbands inability to do things with friends before he drove was because he was really poor and so mom was always working or exhausted so she wasn't driving him anywhere as well as she couldn't afford to give him money for activities...plus she was just an awful human being and still is so she didn't care to help facilitiate anything.

My SD is 27 and has always been pretty much friendless. She has no social skills, no interests, and no personality, she can barely carry on a conversation. She doesn't work and has no hobbies, so doesn't meet people (and wouldn't know how to interact with them, anyway). Even when she was young and in school, she really had no friends.

DH just talked to her the other day and she told him that she could have friends, she just chooses not to. We had a good laugh over that.

Your SS's immaturity and attitude does not make kids gravitate towards him, I'm sure. Some people just have a harder time being social.... or likable.

I try to encourage my SD15 to invite her friends over for pizza, movies even video games so she wont be alone.  She sits in her room either on her Ipad or phone comes out for food, drink and bathroom.  We get her every other weekend and we try to have plans to do stuff but she never shows (1) appreaciation or (2) enthusiasm.  We offer to take her to the mall to meet with friends or anything but she never does and I dont believe she does at her BM house either.  

"he seems to have one or two friends that will text/call SS once in a while but nothing comes of it except a quick talk about a video game. Twice this year he walked to the store with “friends” after school."

This is SS12's social life in a nutshell. Maybe add 4 sleepovers a year with the same friend. And SS is even kind of a "class clown" type. We go to his b-ball games and he appears to be friends with all the boys on the team, we can see all the kids laughing at the things he's doing to be funny...people like him. He just doesn't really seem to want to do anything aside from play video games, be on his phone, or occasionally nag my SO to play b-ball outside with him....he will never ask friends or anyone else to play though! He did mention having a b-day party with all 7 boys from his class. Of course, he wants my SO to foot the bill at $30 a pop for laser tag (not happening). NOW you want to play with all your classmates, when it costs $30 ea. and you have literally never done it ever?? How about you start with playing with them when it's free?

The whole thing is weird. I had friends I played with. I was always doing sleepovers or going to friends houses. I really dislike the way of kids these days.

I think it very much depends on the kid. I have a DD16 who spends a lot of her time "connected" but there have always been friends around. There seems to be a common group of about a dozen girls that all enjoy getting together and where they all seem to have a bestie or two - the choice of bestie may vary over the years. To my knowledge there has only been one major spat and the waves from that lasted about 6 months. They go to the movies, have sleepovers, pool parties, birthday dos, go bowling, go shopping, meet up at McDonalds to do their homework, and so on. She's a sight more social than I was at her age! lol

but my SD17 is and always was a bloody strange unit. No friends to speak of really and seemingly no desire to have any. 

I don’t expect Miss Congeniality but you’d think she would have at least 1 good pal?! Even the weird kids when I was at school had other weird pals.

My SD11 is the same way. All she wants to do is sit inside and be on her phone.

My SD has no friends, but I think it’s more to do with bad manners and narcissism.  I stopped taking her out to social stuff when she was 8 because DH has allowed her to be outright rude to my friends and their kids.  If someone says, “Hello, how are you?” She has always been allowed to ignore them, so that’s what she does.  If she plays a game and loses, or she can’t run as fast or keep up with others she throws a temper tantrum (still at 15).  We had family in town a couple of weeks ago and the only thing she talked about was how amazing she is, directed not at everyone else, just her dad, and DH actively encouraged it.  Yes, she has a phone, and I am thankful for it, because it means she’s occupied on it and not irritating me with rude comments and long speeches about her wonderful self.