If you can't find the back yard. I can't help you.

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I told my 5yo step daughter she could get her shoes on and go play in the back yard. So she got her shoes on the wrong feet, and went out the front door. WTF.

So I told her to come back INSIDE, put her shoes on the right feet, and go out the BACK door, to the BACK yard. So she puts her shoes on the other feet and goes out the garage door (which also leads to the front yard..) WTF?!

I said No.. The BACK yard. You may play in the BACK yard, out the BACK door.

So she goes out the front door again. WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!

Holy crap. This kid knows how to fry my brain cells. All my friends' kids can find their back yards.. Why can't she??

My skids pull the same crap.

My skids pull the same crap. I think they do it just to drive us crazy. That or they really don't listen to anything we say, so she didn't hear anything past yes, and completely missed the "play in the backyard" part.

You try to do something nice,

You try to do something nice, and it's like you're the most horrible person in the world. I had her take a bath earlier, and I had bought her some disney princess shampoo thinking she'd love it since she is a 5 year old girl and all of her pretend play revolves around disney princesses.

So when she gets into the bath she says, "UGH! Do I HAVE to use THIS soap?"

No, you don't have to use disney princess soap. You can use whatever soap you want, but I promise I won't buy anything nice for you just because anymore.

Holy crap, you must be living

Holy crap, you must be living in my house. My skids are the exact same way. A few months ago I picked up a fashion design sketch pad for sd, just because I saw it and thought she would like it. When I gave it to her, she said, "Oh. I have one of these at my momma's. Except it's bigger/smaller/pinker/bluer/ whatever the fuck--it's better."
Then just this weekend, she is drawing on every page of the damn thing and showing me and Daaaddddeeee her beautiful designs. It's the same shit all the time. No matter what, they CANNOT acknowledge that I'm nice to them.
And ss is the worst about pretending not to hear, or pretending he doesn't understand what I'm telling him. He's 9 and super smart(ass) so it's absolutely infuriating!