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If BM and BD are stupid, is it alright if SM speaks up?

SweetMom's picture

Submitted by SweetMom on Sat, 04/23/2016 - 12:53am

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Evidentially dh works all the time and don't pay things much attention like his 12 year old daughter going to a boys house and kissing. I sit with the kid sometimes when he works on his weekend and I listen to her. She has a boyfriend and her mother along with the boy's mother arrange times for them to get my sd12. No big deal right, well I listened to her talk about how her 14 year old sister that just turned 15 is a whore..no surprise. Sd13 said a girl from her class went to her boyfriends house and still haven't kissed. I said to her , " what! You kissed him, like French kiss" she said yes and giggled. Well I told dh. He brushed it off. Well when sd came over she was wanting to go over her boyfriends house and dh said No. She then wanted dh to call the boys mom and tell her. Well he text BM and asked for the number. I was kinda in disbelief that he was going along with this. I spoke up and said " you know you can get pregnant a week after your period (because I know she had a period last week bc she was over last week too.) she had this stunned looked on her face and said she doesn't do that. I'm sure dh will get a phone call and I know maybe I was out of line but I know if she goes over there that kissing leads to the other and pregnancy leads to me a head ache or divorced because I'm not gonna raise a 13 year old child's baby.

Powerfamily's picture

Submitted by Powerfamily on Sat, 04/23/2016 - 1:53am

*I'm sure dh will get a phone call and I know maybe I was out of line but I know if she goes over there that kissing leads to the other and pregnancy* Then just calmly explain to him that if he doesn't want his DD to have a child at 13/14 then HE needs to step and parent her, and you are stepping back you will no longer have SD if he is working, and that HE will need to find a alternative arrangement.

If SD get's pregnant it's not your problem. Hand it back to her parents if they don't care what SD is up to then they have to deal with the consequences.

Cooooookies's picture

Submitted by Cooooookies on Sat, 04/23/2016 - 8:24am

Since it seems the birth parents aren't going to deal with this as it should be, the only realistic thing to do at this point is put their daughter on birth control. As you said, kissing will lead to sex and no one will stop her if that's what she decides to do. Pregnancy, however, can be stopped. Problem is will at least one of her parents spend the effort to do so...

AlreadyGone's picture

Submitted by AlreadyGone on Sat, 04/23/2016 - 3:42pm

You were out of line. Plus, I can see why she'd be kind of embarrassed by what you said... out loud!

No judgments though, I would have been beside myself worrying about my xSD getting knocked up and adding more drama to an already overly drama filled existence. (I shudder even now, lol.) Luckily she was the anti-man magnet, LOL. Probably still is. }:)

Bottom line... not your kid, not your problem. Though you may want to discuss BC with your DH since kids these days have little impulse control. It's not really a question of IF, it's a question of when! Wink

iluvcheese's picture

Submitted by iluvcheese on Wed, 04/27/2016 - 12:54pm

I don't know what state you live in, but here are the laws in each state as far as age of consent, age to go on bc without bioparents, etc. Just click on your state. http://sexetc.org/states/pennsylvania/ I have the exact same fear since my SDs BM was young and my SD is very insecure and needy of male attention. Good luck.

always_anxious's picture

Submitted by always_anxious on Tue, 05/03/2016 - 9:54am

FYI- a female could potentially get pregnant anytime during her cycle. While its on average a week after her period, everyone's body is different. I had a friend who conceived everytime she had sex on her period.