I'd rather poke my eyes out then live with then ANY LONGER
This morning I get up and begin my regular routine......
Get myself ready; get the boys up and bathed; make lunch get my BD11 up and kind of do a check list of things.......(I love routines and schedules)
I ask BD if she has any tests to study for this week; and not to forget her stuff in the dryer and remind her to clean her room when she gets home.
BS9 - Not to forget to put his binder in his bookbag and luch bag too.
During this time I am gathering BS4 to head of to daycare and then I am off to work....(I am sure a lot of you have a similiar hectic morning.LOL)
Meanwhile - Princess SD13 and daddy are conversing about a $30 sweatshirt for her graduating class.
Here is the conversation:
Me to dad: "When did you find out about this?"
Dad: Yesterday when I was going through her room - I found the paper."
Me: When is it due?
Dad: "Today.:
Princess SD: "I have known about it for awhile it is just a lot of money so I didn't want to tell you guys. (trys to sound like she actually cares how much $ she needs)
Me looking at dad: "It sounds like she doesn't want it; forget about it."
Priness: I DO WANT IT - I Just figured you guys wouldn't get if for me so I didn't bother.
Me looking at dad: Well, she can babysit on Sat; and we can put it towards the sweatshirt (meanwhile. she hasn't done one freakin thing around the house but bitch and complain)
Dad then turns to me and glares......."The money is due today!! and she wants it..
I then look at him and say "She didn't even BOTHER telling us and now she is giving us an attitude about the sweatshirt. Live and learn; don't get if for her; she has been rude all week to us."
He starts rubbing his face and moaning and says -"Oh my god; why is it always something with you; just let it go. Oh my god!! You're so annying.
and YES of course the princess is standing right by his side...........
and YES the check was handed to princess..........
I hate my life.
and NO he did not say one thing while I was running around the house giving orders to MY children; Can't say anything about the Princess..........
I went through this scenario
I went through this scenario last spring when SD19 was graduating and many, many more times previously. She always waited til the last minute to hit us up for anything & everything under the sun and of course DH would always put ME on the spot right in front of her. It was always, 'you don't like my daughter' or 'I hate having to clear everything with you when I want to buy my kid something' - it was a freaking nightmare! Unfortunately for you, your SD is just 13 - you have a long way to go yet. You have my sympathy, hbell.
She played your husband. DH
She played your husband. DH did this one time. I told him if he ever undermined me in front of the kids again, I was gone. He knows better now, but those conversations happened all the time. SD14 manipulated him. He made it about you and gave in to her. He has the fault here. Not you. It was never money issues for us, since I have my own money and he has his. It was always about privileges with her. But, the end result is the same. If he talks that way in front of the kids, they don't respect you. He has to stop or he is making the frustration for you worse.
Me: Oh? That sucks, I am sure
Me: Oh? That sucks, I am sure you two will figure it out. Walk away - hum happy tune in your head.
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I love this!
Yes Blender!! I love this
Yes Blender!! I love this too:
Me: Oh? That sucks, I am sure you two will figure it out. Walk away - hum happy tune in your head.
If I EVER did that; it would be.......YOU'RE such a b* or you hate her...
I can never win; no matter what I do
Thank you for the responses; it just feels nice knowing I am not going crazy with the way I feel
I am always told that I am CRAZY
"I am always told that I am
"I am always told that I am CRAZY"
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Yeah, we're crazy for putting up with some of the crap that we do!
She left it for the last
She left it for the last minute so that there would be no time for discussion. My skids do this all the time. When it's an emergency, Dad always hands over the cash, because he doesn't have time to think about it, and there isn't time for skids to do chores to earn the money. Often they will be told they have to do yard work on the weekend to make up for it or something, but it never happens. Once they've got the money in their hot little hands, it's a done deal.
Oh, almost forgot to say:
Don't forget to ask for the receipt. Our skids would often claim they needed money for things like that, yet could never produce the receipt or the item supposedly purchased.
She left it for the last
She left it for the last minute so that there would be no time for discussion.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Exactly what our BM does... waits until 2 days before school starts to ask DH for money for SS school clothes, waits until the day before SS Halloween party to ask DH to take him to get a costume and a bazillion other stupid times... because she knows that it won't give DH a choice. oh DH will bitch about it, but BM will get her way because DH will do it "for SS". I HATE THIS CRAP!
I guess I feel kinda torn on
I guess I feel kinda torn on this.
Three of our five kids are really bad at springing last minute stuff on me. My stepson did it just a couple of days ago. He woke up in a panic remembering that he needed $90 to pre-order his yearbook. I didn't give it much thought. I just wrote the check.
If your stepdaughter is being deliberately manipulative, I think it's a bigger issue. But if she just forgot, it wouldn't be worth an argument to me.
OH my Bios are the same way
OH my Bios are the same way but they are younger as well. My 11 year old is learning that if she forgets or waits till the last minute....too bad so sad.
I saved her once and made it CLEAR that she would not get that again; she would sit in detention. She has yet to do this. In the real world my bosses don't give me the benefit of the doubt.
Yes, I agree being forgetful is one thing; but doing this "stuff" time and time again is not.
*Ooops it orientation - I can go with my friend and her mom since you can't take me.
*OOps I have to make cupcakes for pepclub tomorrow!!
*OOPs I am going to my BM's house tonight so I can't babysit.
The list is endless; I am so sick of her excuses
My DH and I are in
My DH and I are in counselling about this sort of thing. I hate to say but I am like your DH. My DH is mean with money except when it comes to his own kids and CS. We pay thousands every month for private schools and CS (that could be less) but when my BD asks for money for her leavers ball, all hell breaks loose. I have started keeping my own CS aside so I can use it for my children when they need stuff. I feel bad if I buy them anything - even essentials like shoes. My BD hates asking for money because she knows he doesn't think she deserves anything. She hates asking and cries everytime she needs some money. She leaves it til the last minute too - she says the same thing - that she doesn't want to ask. I believe her. It didn't used to be like this when I was a single Mum.
I am starting to stand up for her. Yes - I undermine my DH. The way I see it, she is still my dependent daughter at school. She can't earn her own money just yet. She is about to leave home and I have a feeling that she is leaving quite young because she feels like DH doesn't want her to be living with us. When she is gone, I will be devastated and I am going to remember my DH's meanness and I hate him for it. It's poison.
I don't know what my point is. Maybe it's just that there are always two sides to every story like this.