Yes the subject line is correct! I got to thinking if my in-laws hated me that would mean they actually think about me and there is some level of (negative) caring there. Instead for 10 years, my DH's parents, sisters, brother, partners, ex and children have just point blank refused to admit I exist.
After a decade nothing has changed. They all stay in close contact with each other, the inlaws visit the ex, the ex is invited to the family functions (I never have been except for once last year, supposed to be a reconciliation meeting but the invite came from the BIL to my email address addressed to DH and his EX!!!! (supposedly a mistake), DH is rarely invited these days), last I saw there were still pictures of DH and the ex dotted around the parents walls.
Sadly, the family, especially the ex has ensured she has raised the children to think the same.
I have learned it is impossible to have a relationship with anyone who just won't believe you exist!
I hear the questions....what has DH done about this?? Answer...nothing. He rarely sees his family now but has just let it slide rather than tackling the problem so I have no doubts they blame me. He still see's his children but goes to visit them for the day, I don't bother going, little point!
The worst part is every time he's goes to visit it's a slap in the face reminder of how I've been treated over the years by them all. Kids would say things like "does she have to come" as we're walking out the door to MY birthday dinner, or they would send christmas presents to DH and my dog. (Fullstop there)
And believe me for the first 5 years of our relationship I threw everything at trying to establish relationships with everyone, enough is enough.
So, only question is which way forward!