I think that I finally Quit
I've posted a lot. I try to be as encouraging as possible. I have always tried to stay positive in all things. Especially being a stepmother. It isn't something I ever thought would happen. I never thought growing up, I want to grow up and raise another person's kids. Nor did I think the man of my dreams would slowly metamorphosis into a self absorbed, immature, and just socially inept person.
I don't know what to do. I honestly never wanted children. Then I met him, he was amazing. He was so caring, so loving, so everything I had hoped for. Then five months later, everything started to crumbled apart. His ex-wife got involved, we had his kids full time. That's when because of finances we moved in together. That's where everything came apart. I found his vices. He plays X-box sometimes 9 hours a day. Then when I would bring up the kids were hungry or we needed anything, he'd get upset. Everything has been an argument. From limiting how much he plays video games to I shouldn't be the only one helping the kids with homework. Now he wants a second job. As it stands, it would mean he would leave for work on Wednesdays at 09:00 and not come home until 02:30 hrs. Then Thursdays, I'd be putting the kids to bed.
I am 24 years old, I am beyond overwhelmed. Already his time is stretched. Between work, the kids, I literally have no more than 15 minutes a day with him. Now this? Besides the fact of him not being around, I don't like my oldest step son. Although his mother and I work diligently together, he is just horrible. He loves to lie, manipulate, and he has an attitude that I can't stand. You could read about what's he said we've done in my past posts. I adore his brother though. He's 7 and the biggest sweetheart. It is so conflicting.
With everything, I'm thinking I made a mistake. I think that I wasn't prepared to be in this situation. I feel like I am dying inside. I honestly sometimes think if I wanted kids, I would have been made that decision to have my own kids. I thought I would be in a supporting role not teaching my husband that kids need bedtimes or that children shouldn't be drinking 6 sodas a day. It's common sense stuff. Then he refuses to acknowledge that the kids are a great deal of our relationship. I am just tired of sharing and the getting the left overs. I'm about ready to walk out.
Sometimes it takes the hard
Sometimes it takes the hard times to notice his mistake.
If finances are that bad I understand doing extra work when kids are not there - but they are not your responsibility.
Being a young step-parent can be really hard - but the good thing you are young, you see the issues and honestly you have control.
I personally wouldn't stay but then again I know my personal obstacles that I go through people would shake there head at especially my DHs severe ADHD which causes outburst we deal.
Remember you have control not him, sounds like y'all don't have kids so you have no extra drama. YOU come first.
I don't know what it's like
I don't know what it's like to be happy anymore. These kids have full run of my life. Especially the older one, I'm on eggshells with him. I'm so scared that he'll say I'm cruel to him or that I hit him. I have never put a hand on any kid.
I just feel like I get scraps, and when I tell him this, all he ever says is, "Either put up with it or leave, for 9 years I put her first and I was resentful, is that what you want?"
I just feel like packing up my bags and just starting over.
Sweetheart you need happiness
Sweetheart you need happiness you are awesome anyone who can work with BM needs to be commended.
You are young, and smart and there is someone much better out there. I have had to walk on egg shells and no one deserves that's
Whether you are with him or not you have a forum of encouragement. You know what you deserve it may be hard and hurt some but nothing compared to what you would feel if you stayed.
You are awesome live for you!!
Darling, he's told you what
Darling, he's told you what your future holds. For 9 years he put his ex first and he ended up resenting it, so this time around he's not going to make that mistake again, either you put him first or you can leave. Leave what a loving, caring, sharing husband who appreciates how well you look after him and his children. That would be a loss.
Leave a selfish, ungrateful lazy man who has no interest in being a parent, who thinks you can do it for him and just suck it up, and as a bonus you get forever after to be last on his list of priorities. A man who has no interest in being a husband, let alone a good one, a man who has little if any interest in being a father. That would be like winning the lottery for you.
The boys have parents, one or both of them will have to step up and be a parent. You Sweetheart, the world is at your feet. You are 24, right now you have no idea how young, fresh and beautiful you really are. Far too young for the drudgery this man has inflicted upon you.
You come across as a very mature and intelligent young woman, you know this is not the life for you, now just follow your gut, don't wait for him to tell you once more if you don't like it leave, which by the way is probably the best piece of advice he's ever given you, just pack your stuff and go.