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I suggest you just worry about you and yours!

hbell0428's picture

Submitted by hbell0428 on Thu, 07/28/2011 - 9:32am

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I have been a SMonster for roughly 12 years; I have 3 bios. I have tried very hard to "be a good SM" BM all but kicked SD14 out last year because she was done with her and her SF threatened to leave. So, in turn I got princess. DH and I have really never fought until................I had never thought I could have a feeling like this for a little girl - but I do and they aren't going anywhere. Last week I convinced DH to put her on the shot; which he did. Long story short; I listen to you SM and I feel your pain I really DO!!
Last month or two I have just ignored her - DH and I talked about it and I said I love him but I just cannot do it with her. She is rude disrespecful and an ungratful little brat! and I have my own stuff to deal with. I say hello - goodbye the basics but besides that - that it!! For the most part I feel so much better - I really do.
You all probably have diff situations but if you can do this - do it!!

ubrngoutdbitchnme's picture

Submitted by ubrngoutdbitchnme on Thu, 07/28/2011 - 1:18pm

So your DH caters to your SD14? When she needs something from the store does he take her? Does he chauffer her around to her friends houses?

I want to disengage from my SD15 because I have had it with her when she doesn't get her way with me she then starts to say that her and I don't get along. The latest one was in front of FH she said that she can't ask me anything without me yelling at her. WTFEVER!

I do everything for her! Everything minus feed her on a daily basis. FH takes care of the cooking. I told SD15 that I was done with her. She was no longer to ask me for anything. God forbid I will yell at her for just asking me one question! She said that I always say that to her. True. I always feel bad and she will apologize and we go back to normal to her throwing a tantrum when she doesn't get her way. I told her that this time I meant it.

FH and I went on vacation for my birthday on the 16th. I came back on the 23rd and FH had to stay behind for business purposes. I asked our friend that is watching the kids if SD15 and SS14 could stay with her longer. She said that was fine. So I have been home alone since the 23rd. Silence..........

I'm hoping I can disengage with SD15 when they come back next week. So tired of her...

hbell0428's picture

Submitted by hbell0428 on Thu, 07/28/2011 - 2:16pm

Yep, DH does everything! I won't do it; she calls and just asks for daddy. We tried the other way but it just didn't work. My thins is you have to take the good w/ the bad. DH tried to argue that I am the adult and my response was........you're right - I am the adult - respect and trust is earned not just given and she hasn't done 1 thing to deserve it. I'm not playing her games and half the reason - no ALL the reason that she doesn't like me is because she know I can see right thru her!!

I LOVE silence!! She'll txt me when she has to

ubrngoutdbitchnme's picture

Submitted by ubrngoutdbitchnme on Thu, 07/28/2011 - 3:09pm

SD15 found out that I am home through her older brother. She needed a new pair of contacts and my friend did not allow her to come up to the house to get them. Well, what did SD15 do? Got upset of course that she didn't get her way and took out her anger on my friends DD which she is 12 years old. SD15 told friends DD12 that her BM (friend) is strict, that it is boring at their house (there is tons to do at that house and my friend has allowed them freedoms) and blah, blah, blah. SD15 made DD12 cry.

When my friend told me about that I was so mad that I called my SD15 a bitch (not to her face) and went up to her room and removed the few things she has on her wall and on her dresser. By the way, she has ruined her dresser with nail polish and paint. Carpet has a bunch of stains on it, never mind that a few months ago I paid a few hundred dollars to get it cleaned. I couldn't believe that SD15 did that. I think SD15 should have to face some consequences for that behavior when she gets back.

My friend said she spoke to all kids her kids, DS14 and DD12 and my skids SD15 and SS14. She had them all in tears. Ha! SD15 apologized to my friend and her DD12 but I don't think that is enough. She needs to be punished for that type of behavior. What is she going to do when she gets a job and she wants a few days off and her boss doesn't give it to her? Talk shit about him at work to everyone or anyone that will listen.......

Oh, and friend said that I should probably put SD15 stuff back in her room. Damn.

WidowerWife's picture

Submitted by WidowerWife on Thu, 07/28/2011 - 9:04pm

You are so right.... I wish it hadn't taken me five years to figure it out! We really aren't obligated to raise someone else's kids; and yet, there's this unspoken expectation that we are just dying to do so. Really??? As if raising our own isn't challenging enough. I was raised to be respectful, industrious, goal-oriented, a team player. My SS19 is NOTHING like me. How can someone ask me to tolerate polar opposite behavior in what is supposed to be my house, and not correct the behavior? Especially with my own children under the same roof. SS moved out with his maternal aunt 7 months ago, about half an hour away, and even from that distance, he's got his hooks in the fibers of my marriage.

Last night, though, I gave my husband the ultimatum, because I figured five years of manipulation and betrayal is enough for me. I asked him whether he would honor the commitment he made to ME the day we were married (the whole foresaking ALL others thing) if push came to shove, as his son has been slowly pushing me from day one.

He said he would honor that commitment and his allegiance is to me; but the proof will be in the pudding the next time SS pulls something. I really hate having to accept the fact that there will always be a next time!