I started dating my now husband (of 2 weeks) almost 6 years ago, while in college. Upon our meeting he knew he wanted to reside somewhere else. When he graduated he went through with that dream and left. I still had a year remaining, so a long distance relationship was out of the question. I said nothing to make him stay. We enjoyed his final days together and he left as scheduled. We continued to talk everyday and he realized sooner than later that he wanted to be where I (and my son from a previous relationship) was. Within this phone call he said all that I had hoped for (but never said out loud). He also broke my heart right after. Evidently he opted to make a 5 am drunk dial the night of his graduation party (side note: we were partying til 3am, I left him to bond with his friends in town for the graduation). This esteemed young lady answered so she was the option. This event as his telling "might make him a father to twins". The "might" was because this "lady" emphatically believed the father was someone else (an employed someone else- not a new college grad, whom she approached and gave her number with the classy line "I want to F*&^ you"). In the almost two years prior I knew I was in love, so I decided to take the risk (after having him tested) and he returned. Upon the birth of the kids he decided to go and swab them- so he would know. One twin was his the other- not at all. Already in it, I tried not to spaz. Finding out he knew nothing (well, one thing of course) of this female did not help. He asked her how much she wanted monthly, and he, we supplied her requested amount of 300. She demanded more said two were very expensive (note only one was our responsibility), we supplied her amount of 500. Unfortunately he did not take my original advice of putting himself on child support from the beginning, so he was increased to 700, when she had to place him on support (for milking the state in conjunction is not nice). She also started imposing the requirement that we could not have one without the other (note: no one knew that they were half siblings). Sometimes we would take both but, respectively caring for two infants is not easy. Being that it was not required we asked for just the SD and were met with screaming and an almost full year absence. Luckily, we were both fairly fresh out of college and were dedicated to living within our means, so we paid and went to court for set visitation. With this cash windfall, the BM gave up her townhouse, sold her HHR and bought a house and fully loaded mini van. This did not concern us until she started drunk dialing that she couldn't figure out where she went wrong financially, and pulled SD out of daycare, because if one couldn't go either could the other. She served him with an increase request stating that she wondered where to get more money from and thought of him! Throw in her random emails and texts regarding my husbands relationship with my son (note: he had no kids when we started dating), the temporary position I played in his life in comparison to her precious child and her frustrations with the other "father" who had provided her with false name and info when they were getting it in. Now this little person is four and I am her primary caretaker when she is with us- which is now 1 week out of the month (she finally opted to seek employment out of state- after my husband was laid off and her support reduced- now I make the money lol!BM brings SD 6 hours to avoid notifying the state that she left). SD is a physically beautiful child, however she is addicted to television (cries when it is off), refuses to learn ANYTHING (her words not mine-which is polar opposite of my son who read by 3), and I almost always have my son translate what she says (so ignoring education and watching TV all day seems criminal). Whats worse I feel not a single thing for her. I don't dislike her, just simply don't miss her or look forward to her arrival in the slightest. In truth, I become depressed. I am incapable of being in the same room with her and my husband. My family has taken her in as a second grandchild which does not bother me at all, what does is there insistence that I should just "give her love". I take care of her, why is this not enough? All she talks about is her mother (the only time she speaks clearly besides asking for food) who I would gladly see get hit by a bus (I make it a point to come into NO contact with the woman). Being that I have been tending to her since birth, I find our association to be sufficient- how can I get my husband to be okay with me quietly avoiding them and parents (both loving, ex educators)okay with me simply being a babysitter?