I Hate My Stepson - There... I said it
Needed to vent and had no one to vent to.
I love my wife and infant baby more than anything in this world. I've been with her for about 6 years. My stepson is 7. He has had behavioral issues since he was 3 and ever since then we have been through counselling and therapy on a regular basis. Just recently he was hospitalized at a psychiatric institution for a week.... and then two weeks later for an additional week because of death threats to students and faculty; including the principal. Oddly enough, I wasn't surprised.
I devote roughly 20-50 hours per month on interactive counselling and psychiatric help per month. I have near daily phone conversations with the school in addition. I do everything I can possibly do to be a loving supportive parent. I do everything around the house and everything I can for him. I could go on and on about specific instances or reasons on why I hate him.
So today I think I broke. It's been going on for too long and I'm done. I don't know what to do because I LOVE LOVE LOVE my wife and son. They are everything that I want. And match that with the deep hatred that I have for this awful, rude, disrespectful, inconsiderate, whiny, defiant, and horrible human being. In any other part of my life, when I hate someone it's possible to remove myself from interacting with the person. This is not the case. It's just frustrating.
Thanks for letting me vent.
I feel your pain and my heart
I feel your pain and my heart goes out to you. Unfortunately we really don't know what we are signing ourselves up for when we come into our skids life at (their) young age. My situation is not as grave but my SD12 has some serious psychological and emotional issues that have developed since I met her at age 7. I always knew something was "off" about her. I figured it was something behavioral and could be corrected with structure and discipline. NOPE. Got worse.
I think you have every right to be distraught. This kid will likely only get worse especially if counseling fails and he is not on medication. I hate to say it but some kids are just bad apples. I hope this is not the case for your sake.
Keeping you family together is everything to you but so is your sanity and health. I would say this: if your wife is a united front with you and not making any excuses for her son, then you are on a winning side. Then there is your baby. Your baby deserves to be raised in a safe and sane environment. Perhaps you might want to look at your situation from that perspective. The SS is not going anywhere anytime soon unless its to juvenile hall or jail. Your wife will always stay in his life. Maybe you need to be there to protect your son from his brother. If you stay in the picture your wife won't have to be alone with her boy and your son. You will be with them.
Hard situation my friend. I figure if you didn't have your son with this woman you might have easier options......
GOOD LUCK!
WoW! Have we talked before??
WoW! Have we talked before?? lol You nailed it. My wife is wonderful and supportive. We are a team. That's why I'm on here to vent and not say something like this to her. She knows it, but further "bashing" would only upset her and I do not want to do that.
He is on medication, in addition to counselling, and it does show beneficial signs. However, it's not the magic cure; nor did we expect it to be. I think I take the failure to harshly on myself. I envisioned raising this child to be a respectable human being. I fear that, at this point, I have to accept that I'm living with a person that displays all of the qualities I despise in a person. I'm taking it in stride.
And it's interesting what you
And it's interesting what you said about thinking that structure and discipline could correct what was "off" about the child. The same thing happened to us to an extent. I mean structure and discipline helps tremendously; with him and our own sanity. However, it's not the end all be all solution. I thought that it would be, but it's not proving to be the case.
Bio dad lives in another
Bio dad lives in another state (1,000 miles away). Visits are alternating holidays and an additional month out of the year. He didn't much care about being in his life much, but now beginning to get interested. I'm not so sure that this is a good thing but that's another story. The best I can hope for is I stick it out for another 5 years and HOPE that the child wants to live with his dad until he's 18. That scenario would be AMAZING!!!!! As I don't want a teenager with mental problems. I can see the future (in a sense). Teenage years are likely to be an even greater nightmare than the world I'm living in now.
Thank you for the uplifting
Thank you for the uplifting words. It means a lot. Reading your message really calmed me down at this moment. I was ready to sell him to gypsies five minutes ago. lol