This is the first time I'm posting, and need some opinions. I'll try to be objective because I want honest answers. I divorced in 2000 and remarried in 2004. I have 4 children, my new husband has 2. His oldest son had already stopped contact. His daughter moved in with us for two years and then went back to live with her mother. She has no contact now for the past 2 years. My oldest is now 22 and married, my second is 21 and married, and I still have two home, ages 16 and 14. My husband has yet to eat a meal with us, as the kids "eat like pigs", and he claims he can't get through a meal without making a comment. I come home from work, and just about every day listen to what the boys did wrong. He makes all the rules and doesn't engage in any activity they are interested in. He expects them to say goodnight every night or they lose TV for the next night. After dinner they wash up, and go to their rooms (as if they are being punished (I think just to avoid any contact). They can't have any friends over, unless they follow his rules....no talking loud, no laughing, no running, no eating (we can't feed the neighbors!). We have security cameras at the front of the house (he's so parenoid that someone might touch or come close to his car). There's a big screen TV in the living room...no one is allowed to touch it. He micromanages every chore the kids have. Today I lost it...the first thing I heard was that the sticks in the yard weren't picked up (to his standards) so he could mow the lawn. The boys got an hour lecture on how I get mad because they can't do their chores and I don't back him up. They do their chores, but he can't even talk to them in a decent tone of voice. He does the same thing with me. He can talk for an hour and I can listen, but if the subject changes to something I want to discuss, it's changed or he starts on the computer. The TV is always on in the house, to drown out the voices of anyone talking (at least that's what my perception is). I've lived for the past 6 years like I'm walking on eggshells, have approached him several times about counseling..tried it once...and he hasn't committed to going back. He was the reason my older children left the house as soon as they could. He has no other family and I try to see his point of view, but at what expense? I feel like I'm letting my children down. They have leave the house whenever they can and then listen to the lecture on how all they do is "play".....there bedrooms (or should I say the room the are allowed to stay in..it's not their house (that's what they are told)) are immaculate, they have to fold towels a certain way, wipe down the shower when the are done...and the list goes on. Anyone have any advice..I hate to think that I can't make a second marriage work.