I didnt know what to do
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Hi everyone , i didnt know what else to do and i dont know if it was the best thing to do , me and my husband have been together for 10 years and two years married, i never saw of spoke to his step daughter who he had when he was a teenager, i feel bad bkoz he doesnt care about seeing her , the only thing he does is pay school fees only , this morning i just called and spoke to her for the 1st time , i dont know if itwas the right thing to do but i dont want her to think that i dont like her or something . Was this call the right thing to do ?
Did you discuss this with
Did you discuss this with your husband first? Did she know he was married? I wouldn't have...but that's me. I'd probably save myself the trouble. He was too young to be a dad then...maybe he's still not ready?
Noi didnt discuss it with him
Noi didnt discuss it with him but after the call i told him and he was ok with it , for me what i saw , he doesnt wanna hurt me bkoz he alwz show me the sms that the biomother wrote to him asking schoolfees, he is not a bad dad, and i know deep down
He wants to see his daughter. Thats why i called
He's not a bad dad????
He's not a bad dad???? :?
Yes he is a great dad from
Yes he is a great dad from what i saw with our daughter , and now we speak the child is in anothet country where her mother took her , she is in a boarding school which he payes without a court order , she was a one night stand child there was no dating between them, she is alwz drive him crazy i think that why he doesnt keep intouch
He chose unprotected sex with
He chose unprotected sex with a one night stand. Then he chose to abandon his child that resulted from it.
He pays her school fees. So what??? The girls mom has paid for EVERYTHING else. Do you think she wouldn't have paid for school too? Your DH is no great dad. He's not even a good dad. He's a sperm-donor who got lucky enough to have a one night stand with a woman who wasn't hellbent on taking him to cleaners in court.
Why would you contact this girl? Did you need to show her that you are good enough for him to want to be around but she wasn't? You needed her to know that you like her enough to call but her dad doesn't?
You crossed boundaries lady.
Thnx, i hear u.., i thought i
Thnx, i hear u.., i thought i was doing him good but i guess it wasnt my bussiness , i back off
The number i ot from him bkoz
The number i ot from him bkoz he alws shows me , smses BM send him asking for stuff and why after ten years u asked: i was in college and i couldnt contact her when i wass just a girlfriend, i spoke to her, she knew who i was and i asked her to visit us , Thats all
Iam sorry , i am using my
Iam sorry , i am using my iphone to write and sometimes i dont check what i am writting , i was saying that i got the number from him, bkoz he alwz shows me the sms the mothet send to him asking stuff , and as we speak SD in another country wher her mother took her to study , she is in a boarding school that heis paying which is not a court order ,
From whar i saw he is ok with
From whar i saw he is ok with me calling and it show me that he really wants to see his daughter but he doesnt want to keep intouch maybe bkoz of not wanting to hurt me , i have a daughtet too , whos 1 . He is a great dad
How is he a great dad if all
How is he a great dad if all he's ever paid for is her school fees? He's offered nothing to contribute to her welfare. He hasn't contacted her & doesn't care to see her...how does ANY of that make him a good dad???
You've been with this man for 10 years & just out of blue decided, on your own...with no discussion with your DH...that you would call his daughter he's made no effort to provide for or contact on his own???
:?
I hear tou really , i mean
I hear tou really , i mean one of the reason he doesnt contact her it is bkoz of her mother, she took her to another country without even contacting him, now the poor child is in a boarding scholol that he pays for , and it wasnt a court order to pay her school fees , they never dated , Never, i am sure u know or u can imagine to have a child outof one night stand ? Saying that he is agreat dad , i can see it with our daughter.
It doesn't matter where the
It doesn't matter where the child is. Why is she a "poor child"? She's with a mother who obviously cared enough to raise her, which is more than her dad did.
Paying her school fees without a CO doesn't make him a saint. He should be thanking his lucky stars the girls mother hasn't filed for CS.
I don't think that was a good
I don't think that was a good idea. You are giving her false hope for a father to care about her. It is the honest truth. I am in the same situation. My DH has a 10 year old son from a one night stand as a teen. He does not talk to him much but does pay CS and sends him cards for his birthday and Christmas. I know the son wants his dad to be more involved in his life, but he just can't. We live across the country and he is a soldier. And he has 2 little girls from a previous marriage he pays for too. As women we love our children no matter what, but can you imagine not even knowing you impregnated someone and just getting a letter in the mail one day saying you have a child and need to pay up. I am a daughter born to a dad who was 19. He was a soldier and not around as much as he should have been. I feel in my heart that he only loved me because he had to.
Thnx a lot , for me i know
Thnx a lot , for me i know that if i keep intouch with SD , her dad will too , i want her to feel loved and i think i can help bkoz i am sure that he doesnt wanna keep intouch bkoz of me , bkoz before we got married the child used to visit him.