So, I really don't have the energy to go into everything that's led me to this point right now. I feel I have been used; not necessarily on purpose but used nonetheless as a housewife and have ended up burnt out in every sense of the word. I have 2x young children 3 and 7 and my sort of ex has 4 daughters 8, 13, 14 and 17 oh and a witch of a BM too. 

I have made the decision that me and my 2 will be better off on our own. I'm tired of trying to correct behaviour in his kids; by his own volition he tries to shut them out by playing on his phone. So if their own father won't parent them then why tf should I!? But if I didn't try to, then it's like I'm saying it's OK for my children to turn out the same way with how young they are and how much of an influence his kids are on them. They have no respect for each other, the people around them, the house, their belongings or indeed, themselves! Their hygiene has been vile to live with and over time my house no longer feels a home for me. So I'm moving closer to my family again so I get their support and a fresh start.

But how am I suppose to stay sane living here until I can find somewhere. I'm not exactly an ideal applicant for private rented because I'm unfit for work, single mum and have a dog. I have managed to get into the council housing to bid and have been banded B which is high priority but that could still take months to be offered a property as they're in such demand. My mental health is in tatters and even though I've spoken to my sort of ex and he knows I'm moving; it's like everything is stagnant. Nothing is changing, he's planning what he will do with extra space etc and he agrees that it's what's beat for me. So we are good friends basically but it doesn't make living here any easier and I have anger internally toward him because a part of our problems has been his inability or unwillingness to address issues with the kids or with BM. He's happy to go to work 6 days a week and doesn't think twice that the kids are all left with me. He tells me to do what I have to do for my 2 but how can I cook tea just for my 2; what sort of a bitch does that make me. Ultimately his kids are still just kids. I resent them and I hate that my 2 have missed out on stuff because of his kids etc. God I could go on forever. Just want to see a light at the end of the tunnel. It's a weird in-between part of my life. Knowing I'm leaving hut not knowing when.