every single person will give you a different answer.

to me, it depends on how serious you are and how much you have already talked about the future and your expectations for how your kids will be treated and things like that.

in my situation, I was wary of meeting the kids until I was sure that the relationship was getting serious. it just so happened that i realized that i had strong feelings fairly quickly. i "dated" long distance through him coming to visit me and through email, phone calls and texting. by the time i was ready to meet the kids, we had logged about 10,000 phone minutes. For some people that wouldn't work, but my dh and i were on the same page and for us that worked. the skids were also younger, which made the transition easier. they were more accepting, especially because bm is not an affectionate type person - they had never had a female roll model that was hands on and willing to give them attention. both skids took to me almost immediately, although on different levels. that is not the norm and for that i am very appreciative.

so really, it's up to you and your new guy as to how comfortable you are with your relationship, where it is going and how you both feel about it. i am the type of person that believes that kids don't get to make adult decisions such as who you date, but many people don't agree. if you feel like your kids are old enough to be a part of the decision, then you need their input too. I know that my dh is the kind of person that likes to keep his kids informed to a degree so that they are not totally shocked about things. along the way he told them he had a friend and he would update them in an age appropriate way about feeligns he was having. by the time they met me they were looking forward to it and excited about it. i also spoke with them briefly on the phone about inconsequential things so that they would be a little more comfortable upon meeting me.

for us and the skids, it has worked. we operate as a family when we are together and we have family talks at dinner about our feelings and where we all stand with each other. it helps them to feel more comfortable with the situation because sometimes the bond between the skids and me is not as strong as others.

anyway, that turned out long, but hopefully a little helpful.

my dear... no one can answer that but you.

Retired (StepMom)

“Some people think it's holding on that makes one strong- sometimes it's letting go.”

as soon as possible as aa friend then gradually build it up !

in my opinion you need to give him chance to run (sorry )

dont mean it bad in any way but if id would have known what i was getting in for i wouldnt have stuck around

life is a box of choclates you never know what your going to get (i always pick the coffe of the box what about you )

your kids are important to you and you will need to know how they get along. I met my BF kids after a few months...once we knew we were serious about our releationship. I still think that you need time with kids and time alone (not just in the bedroom) Thats my take..once we got the kids included seems like the "we" goes to the waist side.....

I also think the sooner the better but not too soon. A few weeks into but only introduce them as a friend and no touchy feely stuff around the kids or sleep overs while they're around.

is very different.

I won't couch my opinion----but it is not very popular.

I would wait until the kids are grown. They need your full and complete attention. In general, if we are looking out for the best interest of the kids, it is nice to give them just the normal drama life hands out. Dealing with stepping issues on top of that compounds the problems.

We just had this discussion on another thread. It would probably be a good idea you read up on this.

Okay, I am running out of the room as the tomatoes are being hurled.

is very different.

I won't couch my opinion----but it is not very popular.

I would wait until the kids are grown. They need your full and complete attention. In general, if we are looking out for the best interest of the kids, it is nice to give them just the normal drama life hands out. Dealing with stepping issues on top of that compounds the problems.

We just had this discussion on another thread. It would probably be a good idea you read up on this.

Okay, I am running out of the room as the tomatoes are being hurled.

I felt like dh was someone that I wanted to keep around for a while and not just a casual fling sort of thing. We dated for a couple of months before introducing the kids and then we all went to a fair together as friends.

I did not want to have different guys in and out of my kids lives. I thought it would be too hard on them. Dh was the only guy that I dated that I let meet my kids.